Darren Barefoot
Darren Barefoot


Thinking Chaos, Thinking Fences

This is for those who descend into the code
and make their room a fridge for Superman

Tuesday, May 13, 2003

Just as I finished watching the pen-ultimate episode of Buffy, I was target-marketed to with amazing precision. Check out www.buffyauction.com, where you can obtain props and costumes actually used in the show. Fetishists and stalkers rejoice! A couple of personal favourites:

Buffy Black Tank, White Top, Jeans (game-worn, as they say in sports memorabilia) - currently at US $3250.00

Giles's leather manbag, er, satchel - currently at $1100.00

And there's still like, five and a half days before these auctions close. What's the right thing to do here? Spend $10,000, hold the stuff for five years and make a profit? Will these goods hold their value?

10:19:32 PM    

You're probably one of those 1.1 million people who downloaded this embarrassing video that a young man created and then forgot on his school camera. Well, one thing led to another and, like Pam's home videos, it ended up on the Internet.

As Waxy.org reports, the kid has been found and a brief, not-very-incisive interview has been completed. Let this be a lesson to everybody: don't film anything but sporting events and school plays with your high school's video camera.

Apparently the kid has even been on FOX. He can knock that off his lifetime aspiration list.

10:09:21 PM    

The worst part for the American government is that the media is saying his name again. You know, the first one they didn't find, who funds that terrorist network they didn't stop. You know what the War on Terrorism reminds me of? The War on Drugs.

As they say on the prairies: you reap what you sow.

10:05:33 PM    

I encountered a great quote this morning, apparently from Wired magazine:

"Our artists no longer try to put us in touch with God and the eternal, but with the infinity of our own archives."

-James Flint on Brian Eno

That kind of resonates with me. You could apply that to Andy Warhol, who was keen on the commodification of celebrity. I'm also reminded of a British artist who destroyed everything (and I mean everything) that he owned. I watched an excellent Channel 4 documentary about him. Before doing so he created a massive database of all his possessions and printed them out on big pieces of white cardstock for people to read (while he busily destroyed stuff over a four week period in a shopping mall). This seems to me a pretty visceral example of coming to terms with one's own archives.

2:49:22 PM    

I got an email from the lads who run www.smacktionary.com:

Thanks for the recognition on your site.  You are absolutely right, some people just won't get the smacks that we put up.  Some come from our
*obscure* minds and sometimes we'll throw a smack up there just to humour us.

We like the fact that you said it like it is. We have added the smack
*obscure* as point that we can be counter-productive.  Now that was hard to admit.

Which was very kind, and I replied with:

Thanks for this. Don't get me wrong, I really like your site. Some of the smacks are hilarious. In the right crowd, the Mr. Furley line would come off great.

2:38:03 PM    

Just what it says on the bottle. Tasteful black and white photos of a man bending, folding and stetching his manhood (predictably, this is not safe for work--viewing or attempting, that is). There are also some pretty decent technical illustrations for how to, er, try this at home. I used Babelfish to translate the instructions for the 'Tower Eiffel'. Steps one and three are frighteningly reminiscent of lines from the psycho in Silence of the Lambs:

1. It keeps you of foot with the half-open legs.
2. Insurance with the tips of the fingers indicating and thumb the skin above of the head of the penis.
3. It strains for low e for the side until the skin to total cover the head of the penis.

This shtick reminded me of those kooky Australians behind Puppetry of the Penis (a site that, by my brief perusal, seems safe for work).

2:34:28 PM    

© Copyright 2003 Darren Barefoot.



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