Review of the Matr…I mean Underworld
 |
If you look up ‘Byzantine plot’ in the OED, you’ll no doubt find an inevitably-lengthy synopsis of Underworld. Usually, as you watch a film, the story becomes clearer. Usually there’s more exposition early in a movie, and by the end you’re left with lots of action and a clear head. That’s not the case here. In the latter third of the film, new characters are introduced, back story is expounded upon, and things just get more and more complex. So complex, in fact, that hardly anything gets resolved. |
Underworld is the latest in a series of Matrix knock-offs, and is pretty unsucessful. In addition to the wacky plot, the acting is dreadfully spotty, the dialogue just dreadful and the action sequences, while occasionally nifty, are unremarkable and unnecessarily gory.
All of these flaws are very nearly off-set by the lovely Kate Beckinsale looking very fetching in black leather. Unfortunately, she’s kind of miscast (the director is her boyfriend, surprise, surprise). In a cage match of ass-kicking, black-leather-clad chicks, Carrie Anne-Moss would mop the floor with her.
One other, nitpicky thing. If you make a movie about vampires, you should respect at least a few of the vampire rules. Sure, this one honours the ‘stay out of sunlight’ rule, but that’s about it. In fact, the film seems interested in rendering the vampires as humans with sharp incisors. Check out the basic vampirica that they ignore:
- They can see their reflections in windows and mirrors. One even checks her look in a full-length mirror before a party.
- They breath.
- They can enter homes uninvited.
Bogosity.
Bree has more to say about the movie. She likes Scott Speedman as the love interest, but she may have been fooled by his luscious hair and pecks. I thought, to borrow a quote originally describing Shannyn Sossamon, that he was a charisma-free zone.
