Addicted to novelty since 2001

The Perfect Guy

Heather (who only wears her watch while traveling) has written this touching short essay about finding the perfect guy (must…resist…urge…to…punctuate):

my perfect guy would be tall, dark-haired (whether long, short or shaved) and have deep eyes (dark brown is nice, but so are dark blue). i wouldn’t even mind if his lashes were longer than mine. he’d have clean, well-organized teeth (no tartar build-up or gums showing when he smiles, please) and a five o’clock shadow at noon. he would take off his shirt the hot way, wear only boxers or boxer briefs and never, ever wear his socks to bed. he’d smell like leather, calvin klein’s obsession for men and a little, tiny bit of tobacco.

‘Take off his shirt the hot way’ is great. I must start doing that consistently. I always think that’s the way you remove a hockey jersey. Who wears their socks to bed?

9 Responses to “The Perfect Guy”

  1. d

    i wear socks to bed when i’m cold. but not if i think i’m going to be having sex. :)

  2. Lynsey

    Ya…see we don’t want to know you wear socks to bed. We would rather just imagine you never wear socks. Men aren’t supposed to get cold. I Like Heather’s man…hope there are two of them.

  3. Darren

    Lynsey, are you confusing the ‘d’ above with me? She’s somebody else entirely. If not, then what’s with the general anti-sock sentiment? She’s a lovely woman.

  4. Lynsey

    No I didn’t think it was you…but did think it was man. It’s entirely different if it’s a woman.

  5. Darren

    Actually, you’re right. Your punctuation is pretty good. I should have put ‘capitalize’. Not that there’s anything with the non-capitalization…I’m just a bit of a grammarian on my site.

  6. KevinG


    They are so shallow. We are physical objects; desired or dismissed soley on the basis of physical attributes. I feel so cheap!


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