DarrenBarefoot.com

An Exceptional Yuletide Suggestion

A wise person over at Kuro5hin has made a superb recommendation: a No-Shopping Christmas. His sentiment is far less wacky and anarchist than Buy Nothing Day. This is a cogently-written, short piece about alternatives to the shopping hell that is the Christmas season:

No Shopping Christmas is a simple, yet heavy concept: buy no gifts for Christmas out of obligation, and inform others of your intent so that they do not feel obligated to buy you gifts in return. Don't waste money on lame decorations, and thank you kindly for not killing the trees. Spend time with your family and friends instead of spending money on them. Participate in the traditions of your religion of choice. Or not. Accept Christmas as a time for rest, relaxation, and spending time with people outside of shopping malls.

It may have to do with my bizarre, extremely-broad family tree, but I loathe Christmas and most of what it represents. I particularly hate Christmas shopping, and so make it a policy to never enter a store without knowing what I'm buying.

On a more ascetic level, I have so much stuff already. So does everybody else in my family (with the exception, perhaps, of my more ascetic brother, and he doesn't want anything). I have more difficulty creating a wishlist for myself than I do choosing gifts for other people (with the exception, perhaps, of the aforementioned Spartan brother). This isn't humility on my part, it's just a lack of wanting things. Particularly things that I don't choose for myself. I suppose I should just ask everyone to give me vouchers for travelling. Hmm...that's not a bad idea.

One of the comments following the Kuro5hin piece is spot-on: 'On average, all Christmas amounts to is a bunch of people getting in a circle and everyone handing each other $50. What's the point of that?'

Anybody Know a Decent ASP Developer?

I've got some occasional work that requires ASP abilities beyond my meagre skills. If so, email me at darren at darren barefoot dot com.

False Creek Geek: The Password Problem

This is my latest Yaletown View column, on passwords:

I remember a time when the only password I knew was from Arabian Knights. Then I turned twelve, got my first bank card, and started committing words and numbers to memory. Since then, thanks to email and the Internet, the number of passwords I regularly use has grown twenty-fold. Because I work on the Web, in a given day I easily enter ten or fifteen passwords.

Now, if you’re like me, most of those passwords are the same word, or minor variations there of. While not being very secure, this is only practical. Nobody could remember enough unique words or phrases for each of their passwords.

Ironically, it’s the legacy passwords--the ones I’ve had forever--that trip me up. I can generally log in to anything on the Internet. However, put me in front of a bank machine and ask me to recall the code I’ve used nearly every day for five years? Forget about it. My failure rate only increases if there’s a big line-up behind me.

Even more embarrassing are the ‘secret codes’ that my bank insists upon for my accounts and credit cards. These are words or phrases that I’ve given them in the past that they can use to confirm my identity when I contact them. However, when I call their customer service department, a strange negotiation ensues. I start guessing at the word, hoping to illicit a hint, and the customer service representative does their best not to laugh in my face. Eventually I just give up and switch banks.

If your IT department is particularly paranoid, you’re probably familiar with ‘strong’ passwords. These are nonsensical groups of letters and numbers that are more difficult for hackers (and their tools) to crack and way more difficult for you to remember. Online security is all very well, but try and remember fj34$^pp@. I devised my own strong passwords that combined keyboard patterns with the names of European hockey players. For example, I hold down Shift and press the numbers 1 through 5, then a player, then 6 through 10 and another player. So, you end up with !@#$%Koivu^&*()Rutuu. Not only is it easier to remember, but it looks like dialogue from a vulgar German comic book.

There’s no reprieve in sight for our password glut. Some Internet browsers remember your passwords, but all that does is give your brain permission to forget them. So, when you switch computers, you’re at an utter loss.

At the end of the day, I recommend choosing one password and, unless something is really important or valuable, sticking with it. After all, how many people really want to hack your old Hotmail account anyway?

Link Round-Up: More Images

• A photoblog of celebrty sightings (Ron Jeremy has looked better).
• Typography terms illustrated and explained. To my eternal shame, I've never been able to keep kerning and ligatures straight in my head.
• Wonderful (and more or less work-safe) posters from x-rated movies of the sixties and seventies.
• Stock photography searchable by colour.
• The last one is perhaps my favourite link of the week. Some enterprising Russian has assembled a massive list of screenshots from video games. The kicker? They're all screenshots of video game toilets, from Alien vs. Predator to X-Com 3.

Is Stubble Sexy?

This question came up in conversation last night. In particular, it was regarding hirsute Canuck forward Todd Bertuzzi. As local fans will know, Todd's face doesn't see a razor as often as it might. We were looking at an off-ice photo of Todd at his swarthiest, and all of the women-folk present agreed that he looked pretty fine. Like, in one woman's words, 'he might just throw me against the boards.' There are plenty of examples in pop culture of some stubble being an attractive thing.

Here's my question? Is the popular opinion that stubble is sexy? What about practicality? Is it sexy in theory, but when you get up close, is it a little too rough-and-ready? If stubble is, indeed, sexy, then how and when should the discerning man make use of it? Should I only shave every other day?

The NRA Blacklist

Apparently the NRA had a secret blacklist of prominent US citizens who supported the anti-gun movement. Some folks got ahold of it, and now a Web site has been started to encourage all citizens, prominent or otherwise, to earn a spot on the list.

I love a good conspiracy theory, so here's one: I did a search for this story on Google News. Check out the results. Besides ABC Australia, no major news outlets appear to have picked up this story. Maybe it hasn't broken with the mainstream media yet, but it would seem pretty appealing to the average news agency. After all, it's got controversy, a hot topic, celebrities...what more could they ask for? How much clout does the NRA wield?

My Manbags

On Cory Doctorow's recommendation, I bought a new manbag. It's a nifty leather bag from some import company called Bohemian Traders. It's known as the Prague school bag, and I feel very Giles-esque when I carry it.

Incidentally, does anybody have any leather-bag-care tips?

Additionally, my small rolling bag has seen better days. It took a lot abuse in Europe, and needs replacing. I often bemoan the fact that backpacks aren't more socially acceptable in upscale hotels and the like. If I'm in a nice hotel, I always feel a bit sheepish coming in with my big, blue wheeled backpack from Swiss Army. I've been very happy with other Swiss Army products--my knife, wallet, shirt, etc. Not only does this have the wheels plus the backpack, it also comes with a nifty detachable daypack. I haven't actually seen the thing in person and I'm already sold.

European Greenways

When I was in Europe the past couple of years, I travelled a lot, and Prague was probably my favourite city. I was there in December, so the tourist count was down and there was plenty of snow on the ground. I didn't get to Vienna, but I'd like to. I recently discovered the Prague-Vienna Greenways, a network of 100-year-old hiking trails between the two cities. The whole thing is about 250 miles...a bit long, but I suppose you could skip bits by taking a train or bus. How cool would that be?

Technical Writing Survey

I can't remember where I found this, but here are some results from a technical writer survey. I'm not crazy about how they're presented. In fact, the questions are kind of naff. Still, I was a little surprised to see 13% of people who took the survey out of work.

Link Round-Up: Scariness

Just in time for Halloween, we have five scary, scary links:

• Girls with hearses. Truly a niche fetish here. Safe for work, as no dirty bits are exposed, but they're still scantily-clad tarts with hearses, so you make the call.
• McDonald's Halloween Happy Meals through the ages.
• Double your Fark pleasure with two excellent Photoshop contests: New signs for Koko the gorilla, and the scariest thing to show up on your doorstep this Halloween.
• A Flash animation beyond description.
• Fun with x-rays. Not really safe for work. They're just dirty x-rays, so, once again, you make the call.
• UPDATE: Bonus scary item...retroCRUSH brings us the most enjoyable 100 Scariest Movie Moments. Oddly, there's one from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

Hockey Slash

Slash is a particular type of erotic fan fiction where two characters have same-sex relationship. One Joan Crenshaw in her Slash Primer continues:

It is written by women for women and has little or nothing to do with what gay men or lesbians like. It is not gay lit. Emotional barriers are let down and the dialogue is often romantic. The stories aren't always plot-driven; the PWP (or Plot? What Plot?) story exists as an excuse to get any two main characters together for sex. Slash is primarily male-male, but that is changing rapidly as Xena and Alien Resurrection fan fiction have come online.

Predictably, she goes on to write that 'Slash had its beginnings in Star Trek's distinct lack of strong continuing female partners for the male leads.' It sure gets lonely out there in space, doesn't it? Slash isn't really my bag, but whatever floats your boat, right? It has a certain post-modern weirdness that I support.

Regardless, imagine my shock (and awe) when, while searching for references to the Mattress Line, I happened upon Natuzzi Love, a blog and slash site for hockey players (and, gulp, wrestlers). The name (and presumably, the principle characters) comes from Todd Bertuzzi and Markus Naslund, two popular Vancouver Canucks. The blog itself (safe for work) has the most awesome purple-pink photo of Todd and Markus about to kiss (actually, it's a decent Photoshop job of them just manfully hugging after a goal).

STC Blog

This one's mostly for the tech writers who read this site.

Since starting my own company, I've given up on my membership to the Society of Technical Communicators. Sure, the publications were kind of nifty, but I wasn't really reaping much benefit from the organization. One of their major functions is to post jobs and find work for their members. Since I'm not seeking fulltime work, it's not of much use to me.

An STC committee has started a new weblog, with a most uninspiring title: STC Transformation:

STC is 50, and a lot of things have changed in those 50 years. And while STC serves our needs in some ways, there are other ways that it doesn't. It's time for STC to change, to catch up with the times. We can't do it without our members, so please join the conversation and contribute to the transformation! If we were going to start a Society today and call it STC, what would it look like? Would we have chapters? Would we organize it as a bunch of SIGs? If we were starting today, how much would we charge for membership? How would we structure our board? Would we want to be a charitable organization or a professional association?

While I applaud the STC for embracing a collaborative technology like weblogs, I do have one small complaint. The entries have no names associated with them. So, instead of readers having conversations with individuals, they're talking to a non-corporeal body called 'The Team'. It's a little off-putting, and suggests that there isn't (or can't be) dissent among the committee members. After all, I'm most interested in what individuals on the committee think, so that I can engage with them as individuals.

And actually, now that I see how random the comments on first entry are, I think they've gotten it wrong. This should have been a discussion forum, with committee members posting specific questions and ideas, with a threaded conversation to follow. I find several comments that I want to reply to, but have no easy way to do so given the 75 comments in the thread.

These Made Me Laugh

Most days, I read the comics in the paper. It's kind of an exercise in masochism, because they're rarely funny. However, these two exceeeded my expectations. A little backstory for the first one. Paige, the girl in the foreground, has consented to attend a tremendously nerdy Halloween party (witness the host's fancy Legolas outfit):

A Little Known Fact About Me

I have never, ever, used an emoticon. Not even ironically.

Naked Protesters

Nothing says protest like a little T and A. I jest, but actually it's a dandy way to procure some prime time media attention. Second only to flipping some cars and firebombing the local McDonalds.

Naked Protesters & Nude Activists (worksafe only if you work for Greenpeace) serves the laudable purpose of capturing these demonstrators in the altogether. This trend was recently buoyed by a number of groups protesting the war in Iraq by using their naked bodies to spell out words. The most famous of these was a group of women at my favourite spot in New York, the Bethesda Fountain in Central Park. They spelled out No Bush (pretty safe for work). If you look at the wallpaper-sized version (slightly less safe for work), you'll see that they're, uh, not as advertised. Regardless, their politics are to be applauded. This page also features a bevy of other words-spelled-by-protesting-naked-folks.

When this photo first appear, I thought it was so lovely I actually PhotoShopped those women out of it. It's a gorgeous shot of the fountain by iteself. Unfortunately, I can't seem to locate that photo at the moment.

Here are some other naked protestor sites, all of which are not particularly work safe:

• Naked war protests
• Caged PETA tiger girls
• J-Man: Protest Naked

Further investigation located a local group, should any of my Vancouver readers care to volunteer for nudetesting. I just made that word up. How about civil buffobedience?

Fluevog Stigmata

Last week I went down to Granville St. (it's a long way from Richards St.) and bought myself some shoes from John Fluevog Shoes. Fluevog has been something of a Vancouver institution for as long as I can remember. Locally, his popularity took off with those gothy, super-pointy shoes in the early eighties.

I'm pretty happy with my purchase--they've got a funk factor of about 4. However, they hurt my feet like a mofo. In fact, despite the best efforts of 2nd Skin, I've got little sores on the tops (!) of my feet. Ah well, I guess we all have to suffer to be beautiful.

Falling Back

As I hope you know by now, we fell back today, dispensing with dayling saving time (should that be capitalized?). I recalled, somewhere in the dusty recesses of my brain, that DST originated in World War I. It was implemented in an effort to extend daylight hours, lessening fuel usage for lighting. Ben Franklin is apparently often credited with the invention, but William Willett actually invented the concept:

Everyone appreciates the long, light evenings. Everyone laments their shortage as Autumn approaches; and everyone has given utterance to regret that the clear, bright light of an early morning during Spring and Summer months is so seldom seen or used.

All of this info comes from the informative article It's All About Time. Because we have Irish clients, I wanted to see when they switch over. According to the handy World Clock site, they fell back as well today. Interestingly (well, not really), they spring forward a week earlier than us.

In other DST trivia, I learned from this site that 'in the United States, the only states which do not use daylight saving time are Hawaii, Arizona, and most of Indiana.' Most of Indiana? That's a little cryptic, isn't it. As it turns out, Indiana is a freakishly bizarre wrinkle in daylight saving time. If you scroll past the fetching photo of Ronald Reagan on this page, you'll find a handy graphic to determine what time it is in the Hoosier state. Wired also has an article on Indiana's wacky time zones.

Finally, certain groups, particularly farmers, are opposed to DST. Standardtime.com explains:

Farmers, who must wake with the sun no matter what time their clock says, are greatly inconvenienced by having to change their schedule in order to sell their crops to people who observe daylight saving time.

This site actually propose doing away with four time zones, and using two instead. Good luck with that.

GMC and Distasteful Advertising

I recently sent this email to the folks at GMC Trucks, regarding a deeply inappropriate TV advertisement (no luck finding it online):

I recently saw a television advertisement for GMC trucks which discussed their use in World War II bridge building. To twist the courage and suffering of millions of soldiers in the interests of your marketing campaign is beyond reproach. Trying to associate your company with the values that won World War II lays bare a desperate marketing strategy. You would do well to remember that those men didn't die to sell your trucks.

I got the standard reply from thier Customer Relationship Manager:

Thank you for contacting the GMC Customer Assistance Center. I appreciate the time you have taken to write to me. I appreciate your comments and opinions regarding advertising at GMC. I apologize if our ad wasn’t appealing to you. General Motors does a number of different advertising themes; unfortunately one ad cannot effectively encompass our entire customer base. It is never our intention to offend any of our current or potential customers and if we have done so in your case, please accept our apologies. Again, we appreciate your feedback and have documented your comments.

I've requested contact with thier Marketing department to discuss the issue further. I'd say it's likelier that they'll airlift a truck to me before that happens.

Link Round-Up: Travel

These links come from my latest copy of National Geographic Traveler. It's an excellent magazine, if a little American-centric. It has the excellent photography of the main magazine, but without the massively-long articles:

• Links to three thousand travel sites.
• Flights and hotels meta-search engine.
• I'm pretty unfamiliar with priceline.com, but I take it that BiddingForTravel.com is a sort of companion site.
• The phone number of every airline in the world.
• I've mentioned it before, but AirlineMeals.net rocks my world. I particularly like the photos of meals from the 60s, 70s and 80s.

Stimulation Systems

Talk about wetware. Wired magazine has an article about Slightest Touch:

It's a $200 battery-powered device that electrically stimulates sexual nerve pathways in a woman's pelvis. Unlike Woody Allen's Orgasmatron, the device doesn't produce orgasms -- it just gets a woman ready for an orgasm, the company claims.

Applied 10 to 20 minutes before sex, the company says the device's gentle, pulsating current brings its wearer to a state of sexual readiness, where the "slightest touch" can trigger an orgasm.

Here's a notable detail: 'About the size of a Walkman, the Slightest Touch works via a pair of electrical pads attached to the ankles.' How big is a Walkman these days? Do they mean something that can hold an audio tape? That's a pretty big chunk of technology to have kicking around, if it's not being, uh, actively used. And, unless you're pretty stationary, wouldn't you get tangled up in the wires attached to your ankles? Maybe they can release a bondage version where the wires run through restraints.

Tech Writers' Deserved Reputation

My friend Alan sent me this link, to a Cafepress shop for technical writer paraphernalia. If I ever see a toddler wearing a 'Future Technical Writer' onesie, I'll personally track down the parent and beat them silly with my copy of Managing You Documentation Projects. Personally. I won't hire anybody. Personally.

Gallery of the Pill

This site accompanies a PBS film about the birth control film. It's a great looking, under-stated site, actually. It also includes this really cool gallery of birth control pill packaging.

Tent City Update

It's kind of a whiny day on this site for me.

I sent the following email to the city of Vancouver earlier this week, over their ponderous action on the tent cities cropping up around town:

Dear Mr. Mayor and Council:

My patience for the tent city squatters has run out. The property they are currently living on (and no doubt abusing) is public property. As such, I have as much right as them to use it. Unfortunately, I can't because you have been shamefully slow in addressing this issue. These people have flouted the city's authority for too long, and must be dealt with.

I'm not an urban planner or a sociologist, so I don't have any original solutions to Vancouver's homeless problem. On the other hand, I trust that your offices are chalk full of people working on these issues. If swift and decisive action isn't taken to remove these squatters, you can guess who I won't be voting for in the next municipal election.

Surprisingly, I got the following swift if vague response from Ellen Wordsworth, City Councillor:

City staff is working hard, alongside housing and health care professionals, to find housing and other services for all those at the tent cities. I am hopeful that the matter can be resolved soon.

Foreign Men

Many of my female friends and acquaintances (like, at least a half-dozen), are currently dating or married to non-Canadians. While these British, Australian, American and German men are all charming people and excellent companions, this phenomenon makes me feel like I'm in high school again.

In high school, it always irritated me that the girls in my grade would always date older boys. When I was in Grade 10, all the Grade 10 girls were dating Grade 11 and 12 boys. Resultingly, I'd end up pursuing Grade 9 girls, which was fine as I'd skipped a grade and they were probably still more mature than me. Still, it always irked me that these senior boys would, you know, raid our stock.

The same goes for foreign men. What are they doing, with their charming accents, their 'crikeys' and their 'puckas', coming out to the colonies looking for a bride? What's weird is that I don't know a single man who's dating or married to a non-Canadian woman. What's up with that? Why is there a gender gap here?

This is only tangentially-related, but that whole charming accent thing only goes one way. Us Canadians moisten our undies for a lilting Irish or an upper-crust British accent, but they couldn't care less about ours. When I was over there, they just kept making me say 'aboot'.

Scooterific

I was kind of interested in the Segway, but, frankly, those things are so last year. In twenty years we'll be watching a retrospective design show about the 90s and waxing nostalgic about those things.

However, Gizmodo recently linked to an article about the Equinox, a more traditional electric scooter. I think we should sell our car and pick up a couple of these badboys (a deeply inappropriate label, if there ever was one). They're only US $2800, can be recharged in a regular outlet and have a range of about 70 kms on a single charge. Nifty.

Yonic Perreault Loves His New Jersey

Sorry, that reference is Dennis Milleresque in its obscurity. Let's talk about third jerseys for a minute. It seems to me that, taking a cue from the English Premiership league, NHL teams are changing their jerseys and adding third jerseys or logos on a yearly basis. I know it's a nifty revenue stream, but it's getting so I can't tell who's playing who in the sports highlights.

This is all just a pretense for running this image, which illustrates the hidden yonic imagery of the Dallas Stars' new third jersey:

Incidentally, does anybody know who's wearing that jersey? I don't recognize him. He looks kind of like Ed Belfour, but he plays for the Leaves (yes, I know it's Leafs, but that's a popular Leaf-hater spelling) now.

And, on the subject of third jerseys, let us not forget the ugliest third jersey in the history of ice hockey.

Flashy Flash Developer Required

My usual Flash guy has nerve damage in his leg. Why does that prevent him from making the Flash? I don't know, but I find myself in need of somebody with mad Flash skillz. Basically, I need some straightforward animation and bouncing text added to a few architecture diagrams for a corporate demo. It's nothing fancy, but beyond my meagre Flash abilities.

Are you this person? Do you know this person? Let me know. Send me an email to darren at darrenbarefoot dot com.

The Picture of Everything

How has this escaped my attention for the past six years? Howard Hallis made a massive picture of, if not everything, a whole bunch of stuff. Full size, it's 76.5 by 176 inches. The best part of it is how there are weird people next to each other. For example, what is Rose McGowan doing next to Cary Grant? Be sure to check out the picture key, which enables you to get a detailed view of who's who. Frankly, he's not all that great an artist, but it's truly an impressive (and obsessive) achievement.

Link Round-Up: Fun with Stories

Today's link round-up is about stories, fictional situations and other related detritus:

• Superheroine galleries. From Barbarella to Lara Croft. Actually, does Ms. Croft qualify as "super"? Does she have special powers beyond her +4 Cleavage of Distraction?
• Sound advice for geeky time travellers.
• Purely in the interests of science, I have replaced the word "wand" with "wang" in the first Harry Potter Book.
• Send an email to yourself in the future. Of course, what are the odds of your address remaining the same?
• Choose Your Own Adventure for adults.

Craptastic Movies

I get, like, 76 channels. And usually, to quote Bruce Springsteen, nothing's on. What is always on are lousy, straight-to-video movies. Movies that I rarely recognize, sometimes starring significant actors. Usually I watch a short chunk of these movies while channel surfing. Often these movies have great premises, but for whatever reason turned out poor, unpopular or both. Here are three:

The Trigger Effect: Kyle MacLachlan and Elizabeth Shue in a kind-of-apocalyptic sociology study about desperation and that pyramid of needs thing.

Treed Murray: Nobody recognizable in this one (except Julian Richings in a homeless man cameo) An advertising executive, trapped in a tree by a gang of would-be muggers, manipulates them into fighting to save his life. Apparently it's Canadian.

Hypercube, Cube 2: Eight strangers find themselves waking up in a strange cube-shaped room with no recollection of how they came to be there. Soon discovering that they're in a strange fourth dimension where our laws of physics don't apply, they have to unravel the secrets of the "hypercube" in order to survive. It's wacky, also Canadian, and unquestionably has the cheapest set in film history.

Jill in a Box

Pamela Masik is a Vancouver-based artist who, for the past four days, has been living in an eight foot box. She's got it rigged up with a toilet and bed, and the lights turn on and off at random intervals. She doesn't have any communication with the outside world, and paints on the walls. You can read more about it on her site, or watch her live here. I've been checking back on her the past few minutes, and she's sleeping. With the lights on.

Confess Your Sins, Anonymously

The simple sites, pure of purpose, are the best. Grouphug.us (nice URL, incidentally) enables you to secretly confess whatever's on your mind for the world to see. A few of my favourites:

When certain people call me I wont answer my cell phone. Instead I'll listen to their message and spend all day trying to figure out a good way to get out of doing anything with them.

When I was in junior high, the PE coach got mad at me for talking in class so he made me run wind sprints for an hour after school. A couple weeks later I banged his daughter who was in my class and sent him her panties thanking him for building my endurance up.

When i was in my early teens i told my younger sisters that they had missed christmas because mum was too busy to get the tree. They believedm e.

It's interesting, I think, that they don't enable you to comment on any of the entries. That might be a healthy edition...some of these people are screaming for a little human contact.

Post-Reception Report

We had the memorial reception for Mom yesterday. About 75 people attended, and everyone seemed to think that it struck the right chord of informality and non-sombreness. In truth, it wasn't particularly emotional for me. I'd already said my goodbyes, and with the exception of the speeches, I was focussed on meeting everybody and ensuring everything went smoothly.

I'm posting a couple of things I prepared for the reception. There's a 12-page program that includes memories and stories about Mom from family and friends. Additionally, we had this Powerpoint presentation (it was more tasteful than it sounds) continuously running in a corner, showing photos of my Mom from age four through the end of her life. People seemed to like that--one person called it a 'visual eulogy'.

Mom's Memorial Reception

Thanks to everyone for their emails and comments. I just wanted to post a brief about the reception we're having. It'll be this Saturday, October 18 at 2:00pm. It will be an informal affair, held at Dunsmuir Lodge north of Victoria.

I'm putting together a program of stories and thoughts about Mom. If anyone who knew her wants to write something, please keep it short and email it to me before Thursday at 5:00pm.

Mom

My Mom passed away on Saturday after a lengthy battle with cancer. I have intentionally not discussed her illness here, but wanted to post this so that friends and colleagues who read this site can be notified. Her obituary follows:

NEIL - Judith (Judy) Grace, born September 26, 1945, died at home on October 11, 2003. She is lovingly remembered by her sons Kevin Barefoot (Wendy Muir) and Darren Barefoot (Julie Szabo), grandson Miles Barefoot, sister Lynn Heenan, friend Roberta Hower, and a large circle of friends and colleagues. She is predeceased by her parents Mabel and Don Neil.

Judy was born in Saskatoon and completed her education with a BComm from U of S. spent time in Toronto and Vancouver before settling for the last eleven years in North Saanich. She will be remembered as a independent woman who loved the outdoors. Her wisdom and easy laugh will be sorely missed.

In lieu of flowers, please make a donation to a charity of your choice.

There will be a reception in the afternoon of Saturday, October 18. We're still working on location and details, but I'll update this entry when I've got them sorted out.

The Hungover Gourmet

I don't drink, mostly because I never acquired a taste for it. I did drink, in my misspent (one 's' or two?) youth, but don't really recall having hangovers. Maybe that's because of my youthful, raging hormones, or just because I normally slept until noon, so it wasn't any different. Either way, here's the Hungover Gourmet. In truth, after surfing around the site for a couple of minutes, it looks like there's nothing really about this dude being hungover. It's just a funky food site. Which I don't reference very often, so there you go.

Roues and Cads

So I'm listening to The Sound of Music soundtrack today, and singing along to the pre-feminist Sixteen Going On Seventeen when I encounter a line I've never really heard before:

Eager young lads, and roues and cads
Will offer you food and wine

What the hell is a roue? Dictionary.com explains:

rou·é (noun)

A lecherous dissipated man. Also, one devoted to a life of sensual pleasure; a debauchee; a rake.

[French, from past participle of rouer, to break on a wheel (from the feeling that such a person deserves that punishment), from Old French, from Latin rotre, to rotate. See rotate.]

A particularly interesting etymology, don't you think?

Vancouver's Homeless Problem

I've been thinking, lately, about Vancouver's homeless problem. Having lived in Europe for a couple of years, and having visited many cities throughout the Continent, I was struck by how few homeless people they had. When I returned to Vancouver, I was really surprised by the number of apparent homeless I saw in Vancouver. I was recently talking to a Texan who had moved to our fair city, and she said the biggest difference was how many people there were on the street. In Texas, she said, they just threw them in prison. Efficient, but neither practical or humane.

This article blames the dot-com crash and increased drug use for homelessness. The dot-com crash? If you were employed during the dot-com boom, them presumably you've got some employable skills. Regardless, I'm confounded by why our city in particular has such a problem. I suppose it's the warm weather and traditionally leftwing governments.

Personally, I don't know what to think. I figure that homeless people fit on a scale, with able-bodied, mentally-sound people on one end and the addicted, the mentally ill and the aged on the other. In truth, I've got no time for the one end and compassion for the other. I'm no urban planner, or sociologist, or homeless advocate, so I don't really have solutions to propose. However, it's clear to me that the two types of people I've described should be treated in radically different ways.

Obviously, this is an issue that needs to be resolved. Like them or not, the Olympics provide a good motivation for making changes. The international media will eat this issue up if there are as many street people kicking around the city as there are today.

Pricelessware to the Rescue

On Slashdot, there was an interesting discussion of Top 10 software titles every home PC needs? Of course, all those geeks were espousing Linux this and Gnome that and vive le revolution, etc, etc. As enlightening as the discussion was, even more rewarding was a link to Priceslessware, the home of the alt.comp.freeware newsgroup. While there's no ranking system to indicate the most popular stuff on the site, I do appreciate that none of the software available has adware or spyware.

The ScrLk Key Debunked

I actually remember using the ScrLk key to freeze and move around text scrolling through my DOS window. Well, it wasn't really a window, it was the whole screen. This article, from Slashdot, explains this and other obscure keys:

The main intent of the Scroll Lock key was to allow scrolling of screen text up, down and presumably sideways using the arrow keys in the days before large displays and graphical scroll bars. You can see where this might have been handy in the DOS era, when screen output typically was limited to 80 characters wide by 25 rows deep. For some types of programs, spreadsheets being the obvious example, it's still handy now. In Microsoft Excel, Scroll Lock allows you to scroll a spreadsheet with the arrow keys without moving the active cell pointer from the currently highlighted cell. In Quattro Pro, another spreadsheet program, Scroll Lock works in a similar manner, although in contrast to Excel it's not possible to scroll the active cell pointer completely off the screen.

The Original Whizzinator

Can you guess what this is?

Used with our organic heat pads, it is GUARANTEED to maintain body temperature for EIGHT HOURS! And our quality production and materials assures you that the WHIZZINATOR© will let it flow, again and again, anytime, anywhere you need it!

That's right, it's a fake penis and reservoir for fooling drug tests. It comes in five different colours (photos of fake penises ahead)--white, tan, latino, brown and black. What colour is latino? There's even dehydrated urine for sale! Unethical bastards.

I read about this, and how one Texan was tripped up because his unit seemed to go 'clink' while in the bathroom stall.

Jobs I Have Had

About a month ago, sn0wangel posted a list of all the jobs she's ever had. I've been meaning to make my own list, which isn't particularly impressive or lengthy, but fun nonetheless. In more-or-less chronological order:

• Paper boy
• Office cleaner
• Dishwasher (twice, actually)
• Tube honing technician watcher (see the end of this entry for more details)
• Graduating class videographer (lame, but profitable)
• Tutor
• Busboy
• Sporting goods warehouse worker
• Recycling program implementer
• Theatrical properties shop manager
• Admin assistant at a rec centre
• Editor of arts and culture magazine
• Technical writer
• Marketing writer
• Theatre reviewer
• Columnist (a few times)
• Manager of technical documentation department
• Comment writer for video games
• General manager of a theatre company
• Technology evangelist (I kid you not)
• Entrepeneur

I guess it was kind of lengthy. And I may have missed a few.

I've got a Welsh friend who I used to work with. One day we listed all of her jobs on the white board. It was an incredible list, and (if I recall correctly) included both 'marijuana farmer' and 'oyster picker'.

Update on John Mayer and His Chick Appeal

A while back, I wondered if John Mayer was just for girls. Last night your man was on Much More Music (Canada's VH1, I think), doing an Intimate and Interactive session, (Canada's VH1 Storytellers, I think). In short, he played some songs in a kind of theatre-in-the-round setup and then responded to universally inane questions from interviewer and adoring masses alike. He is so Dave Matthews Lite.

You know what? There was hardly a man in the ground. Well, I saw one guy, and boy did he look sheepish. It must be a little frustrating (well, aside from all the tail he must get) for Mr. Mayer. I think Dave Matthews attracts an older, equally-gendered crowd, while Mayer gets a ton of 16 to 20-year-old women. I suspect it's got to do with how he's been branded (all sulk and bedroom eyes).

On an unrelated note, I see that Tears for Fears is getting back together. That was fairly inevitable, eh?

Anti-Celebrity Wallpaper

I have been known, from time to time, to ironically set my PC's desktop wallpaper to some cheesy fan-art. We all know these overly-Photoshopped images of somebody's crush-du-jour, be it Sarah Michelle Gellar or Josh Hartnett or whoever. These tend to harken back to halcyon, Geocities days of yore.

But I got to thinking? How come only celebrities get wallpaper? What about the rest of us? What's Josh got (besides a killer jawline and a lucrative movie career) that I don't have? Hence, anti-celebrity wallpaper. Three of myself and one of my lovely wife. Put them on your desktop and enjoy. Better yet, make your own! Maybe I'll start a site: 'Wallpapers of People You Don't Know'. Click for larger versions:

  

  

The Murmur Project

I was listening to the CBC the other day, and heard about this interesting project that combines urban history and technology (pardon the goofy brackets, they're not mine and utterly twee):

[murmur] is an archival audio project that has collected stories set in specific locations throughout Vancouver's Chinatown. At each of these locations, a [murmur] sign marks the availability of a story with a telephone number and location code. By using a mobile phone, people can listen to the story of that place while engaging in the full physical experience of being there. Some stories suggest that the listener walk around, following a certain path through a place, while others allow a person to wander with both their feet and their gaze. Stories will be available in both English and Chinese.

The project is also ongoing in Toronto and Montreal.

A Brief Word of Praise...

For Canada's women's soccer team. They've done exceptionally well at this year's World Cup, exceeding all expectations to compete for third place in the tournament. For a fledgling team ranked 12th in the world, this is a great accomplishment. There's hope for 2007 as well, given that the average age of the team is 22. Mind you, that number is skewed by Cara Lang, 16, and Brittany Timko, 18.

Speaking of Lang, the goal she scored in the Sweden game was world class for either gender. An extraordinarily powerful free kick from at least thirty yards, it was remarkable for a player of her age. Given her apparent skill, power and confidence, she may be the best player in the world in five years.

Though I was skeptical about the women's game, I really enjoyed watching the World Cup. Admittedly, it lacks the pace and finish of the men's game, but this was offset by my patriotism and, frankly, their heart. I really appreciated that, in the four games I watched, I rarely saw a player take a dive. In the men's international game, particularly among the poncy nations like Italy and Argentina, players go down as if shot, as if phasered, as if date-drugged, at the slightest touch from a defender.

Conversation at the Grocery Store

HER: Would you like paper or plastic?
ME: Plastic. (Pause). What are all these German flags for? Octoberfest?
HER: Yep.
ME: You know, it's funny that Germany gets its own month, but nobody else does.
HER: But we all benefit. What with the beer.
ME: And the laderhosen.

Normally I don't get this far with offbeat conversations with clerks. Usually I just get a blank stare and a nervous giggle, so I appreciated her playing along. I think most clerks either think I'm psychotic, or that I'm very bad at flirting. Bad like Ross flirting with the pizza girl on Friends. In trurth, I just tend to think of odd things and want to discuss them.

Link Round-Up: Diversity

Here's the most diverse five links I could find in my link buffer:

• A whole bunch of stupid pictures. Some common Internet fodder, some unusual, some naughty, some gross. Some are unsafe for work, but the thumbnails are so small that the page itself is pretty work-safe.
• The meaning behind songs of the Eighties. They appear to have most of them dreadfully wrong. Debbie Gibson's semnial 'Electric Youth' is apparently about 'about the future belonging to the children'.
• Computers play rock, paper, scissors. Predictably, rock wins. Good old rock. Nothing beats rock.
• Diary of a Civil War prisoner.
• Joseph Conrad has some competition.
Posted by Darren at 09:54 AM | Comments (0)

British Schoolboy Uniforms

Boy does that title make me sound like a dirty old man. But really, this site is totally above board. It's a history of the British schoolboy uniform (and sundry other uniforms worn by young men). You know, this may be an unpopular opinion, but I've always found the British the most tolerant culture when it comes to homosexuality. I mean, how could a nation love Queen that much and not be pretty openminded? Do you suppose gender-segregated schools have something to do with that? Perhaps tolerant is the wrong term--they're so sexual repressed on all fronts that it doesn't even come up for discussion.

Interfacing Your Fears

My latest Yaletown View column is out...it's on interfaces:

Have you ever pushed on a door when you should have pulled? Switched on the wrong burner on the stove? Pressed the wrong button at a bank machine? If so (and I know you have), you’ve been the victim of lousy interface design.

Every thing in the world that you interact with—your car, your fridge, your lunar lander—has an interface, a point of interaction. Each of those things has been designed by a panel of experts with you in mind. Unfortunately, it often feels like those experts are from the Ninth Circle of Hell, and they’ve got a deep hate on for you.

My personal pet peeve is DVDs. Why is it that every time I put a movie in the DVD player I have to figure out how to play it all over again. The menu system is always different. Every movie—in an effort to be flashy and hip—seems to have a ridiculously complex method of ‘pushing play’. Sometimes the DVD menu is organized in a circle, sometimes a square, sometimes a tetrahedron.

But why? Why do we struggle with everyday things—every day? Why can’t we dial the phone or watch TV or cook dinner with the assurance and sauveness of, say, Martha Stewart? Surely these experts know how things should be designed, don’t they?

Cost. The experts know how to design the perfect remote control, but they generally can’t afford to build it so that everyone can buy it. For example, on the cheapy remote, the buttons are tiny, poorly organized and the labels wear off. Mine, inexplicably, has two rows of four buttons, with the nine and the zero on the final row. What’s wrong with the traditional three rows plus the zero? Who knows, but I imagine that it has to do with cost.

That’s why a company like Apple rarely makes cheap things. Take the iPod. You can now buy a similar MP3 player for considerably less money, but you can’t get the graceful lines, pleasing shape and intuitive interface. Apple snobs rejoice in espousing—and rightfully so—the gorgeous aesthetics of their computers and peripherals. Sure, part of the design is to attract the horned-rimmed designer set. But mostly it makes Apple products easier to use. And in today’s world of unintelligble user manuals and shoddy customer service, sometimes that’s worth paying for.

Some of the ideas in this column come from Donald Norman’s excellent book, The Design of Everyday Things, a must read for a designer of anything.

I Survived Calgary

I'm back from Calgary. I actually got back from Calgary on Friday, but had a very busy weekend, so I've only gotten around to posting now. A few thoughts on good ol' Cowtown.

• I don't mean this to sound critical, but it's kind of unremarkable. It's very spread out, got a lot of 70s architecture, and a prarie feel to it.
• The city's fore fathers displayed a real lack of creativity when naming the streets. Of course, the upside of having numbered streets and avenues is that you always know where you are and how far you are from your destination. That latter point isn't always a blessing--while walking I kind of like being surprising when I've arrived, having forgotten which street comes first.
• I blew off a couple of conference sessions and went to the Chinook Centre, a palatial mall out in the suburbs. At their 18-theatre multiplex, I watched the lousy Cold Creek Manor in matinee. The movie was crap, but my movie-watching experience was awesome--I was the only person in the theatre. How cool is that? It's a good thing the movie wasn't scarier, or I would've been freaked right out.
• All of the grates on the sidewalk in Calgary have odd feet shapes welded into them. Can anybody tell me what those are for? Are they functional or are they just quirky artifice?