Addicted to novelty since 2001

Where Was This When I Was 13?

Celest is 21, 5’11 with blonde hair and blue eyes and from Tennessee. She’s auctioning off a particularly useful service to geeky, introverted lads:

I’m auctioning 2 months of an imaginary online/penpal relationship with me! This includes a letter every week with cute girly stationary, perfume, and cards detailing whatever it is you want me to write to you! Have AOL? I can get any screen name you like along with a profile and fawn all over you in chat rooms, and send you frequent emails with or without pics. (no naked pictures!) This auction does NOT include any real face to face dates, or much effort from you. All you have to do is tell me what you want in the letters when you send payment or by email. I’ll even call you up to four times within the two month period of our “relationship.” After your time is up, you can “dump” me however you like!

She’s apparently working on a PhD in human resources (huh? Who needs a PhD in that? Never mind), and needs the money. What a fantastic idea. Myself included, I know a half-dozen young lads who could’ve used her during the cruel days of adolescence. Imagine the looks on the pimply faces of your teenage peers. Talk about street cred. I can’t believe that she only got US $15.50.

6 Responses to “Where Was This When I Was 13?”

  1. Heather

    The problem comes when two guys who attend the same LAN party attempt to purchase her services.

  2. Jen

    I’d consider buying her services just to see what she writes and what “girly” letters and stationary look like. Maybe she could teach me to giggle.

  3. zackie antares VII

    Whoa.
    I would just about to say that it was nearly impossible for her to make money with such strategie but… Earth is just strange place in wich we live in with even more stranger dudes.

    Oh, found your link in a haloscan little window. Hope you don’t mind me.
    Nice layout of yours. = ]

  4. Jeff

    I don’t know whether to be touched or horrified by this. It’s so darn cute, but hmm. Think I’ll go with “touched” for $15.50, Alex…

  5. Guy K. Haas

    For the post-teen crowd, see also:

    http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=2977362166&category=317

    http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=2962323541

    http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=2978007924&category=1467

    http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=2978262771&category=1467

    and (not entirely work-safe)
    http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=2979639284&category=1467

    Clearly, the entrepreneurs are flocking to the idea.

  6. Darren

    Strong work, Guy. I got 13 returns for ‘imaginary girlfriend’ on eBay. The highest is currently going for $76 for 8 weeks work.

    Well, there is one going for $4000, but I don’t really believe that that one is legit.

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