Addicted to novelty since 2001

I Have a Massive Head

Today, my Indiana Jones-esque Filson Packer Hat arrived. This is the second one I’ve owned, and they’re excellent for hiking and walking of all sorts. They wear in nicely and are extremely durable. I wore the first one for several years, but ultimately gave up on it because it hurt my head.

See, my brother and I have very large heads. I don’t know why, but it just worked out that way. So, despite my local outdoors store stocking a broad range of these hats, I had to special order an XXL. I’m kind of tall, but in most other respects (keep your dirty jokes to yourself, thank you) I’m within regular human parameters. I’m like Calvin, sans talking tiger. So you ask yourself, why such a big head (obscure Saturday Night Live reference there–Rich Hall doing David Byrne)?

18 Responses to “I Have a Massive Head”

  1. Sue

    My brother and Dad are that way too. My dad had to special-order a Tilley Hat, and both of them are exempt from Saanich’s odd bicycle helmet laws because they can’t purchase a fitting helmet in any normal stores. They got a special dispensation and everything. My melon’s pretty large too, but I can at least still buy headwear.

  2. pericat

    When a young thing in HS band, first year, I was issued a NEW hat for marching, wholly contrary to regs, which stated only seniors got new stuff, purely because my head was a size 6 3/4″, and it was the only hat small enough.

    It’s grown since. Along with the rest of me, more’s the pity.

  3. alexis

    Dad has that hat! He says when he wears it, women at Costco hit on him. (I don’t know if you’ve ever met my father. He’s a strange one)

  4. chay noble

    i have a massive hed it is very difficult 2 pull birdz and fit thorough doors 1 day i will have a opperation 2 make the hed size smaller i crnt really belive how big it is

  5. liam shorthouse

    i hyave a big chest which sticks out and when i an shagging birds it gets in the way! i get called at school 4 having it i just cant handle the preasure

  6. Jake

    Yeah his head is actually huge, one of the biggest i’ve ever seen!!

    like this:

    ________________________________________
    l l
    l l
    l l
    l l
    l l
    l l
    l l
    l l
    l l
    l l
    l l
    l l
    l l
    l l
    l l
    ________________________________________

  7. rhys john

    elliot rees has a massive head
    im jealous, my names rhys
    i also have a big head
    but not too this scale

  8. Ashley Richards

    hello guys my name ashley richards and i have the biggest fish lip anyone has ever seen !

  9. willy stain

    Vidushi has a fucking huge head it looks like a doughnut, i want to eat it, enlarged by scale factor 10!!! look yeah never ever bump into her she will nut you and you will die, because its fucking huge man !!! screwing hate you viduddi

  10. jevoooooo

    basically yeah everyone with a big head is inbred your mums shagged there brothers and your dads shagged there sisters and there daughters, omg thats sick i dont like inbreds ‘ryan neuvel’ !!! fuck all you big heads out there

  11. Allen Tantum

    Thank you for the good writeup. It in fact was a amusement account it. Look advanced to far added agreeable from you! Nonetheless, how could we communicate?

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