As I sit here in my vintage Winnipeg Jets t-shirt, let me assure you that I’m the least qualified person in Canada to dispense fashion advice. I don’t often discuss it on this site. In fact, a quick search for the term fashion suggests that this is the only other entry on the subject (though, now that I think about it, there was a posting on men’s shoes) Also, let me apologize in advance to anyone who wears and enjoys the footwear I’m about to mock. But, frankly, you deserve it.
(Unless, of course, you live in the Arctic or the Australian outback. In these cases, you likely know less about fashion than I do.)
Who decided that Ugg boots were an attractive accessory? What possible aesthetic merits could these boots actually have. I mean, they’re mukluks without the fancy stitching. They’re deeply ugly. Their design seems to run counter to every other fashionable boot (and shoe, for that matter) in history–instead of extending the line of the leg, they actually shorten it. They’re not flattering to any body shape, in any colour, when worn with skirts, shorts or pants.
Yet, celebrities are wearing them and they’re selling out all over the country. Why are people buying them?
These people deserve ridicule because they’re great trend apes. They’re shaved, mimicking baboons. They’re fad monkeys. They’ve chosen not to develop a fashion sense of their own, so they cling with their vogue-seeking prehensile tails to whatever is currently in the fashion mags.
The first and most common protest to my invective will no doubt be “hey, they’re comfortable.” Lay not that flattering unction to your soul. The same women who are buying Ugg boots also wear four-inch heels, ultra-tight jeans and sundry other unpleasant garments. Fashion and comfort are mutually independent of one another, and always will be.
None of us are totally immune to the siren call of fashion. However, I’d expect people to apply common sense. I’d hope that they’d look in the mirror at the shoe store and say, “you know what, having two inside out lambs on my ankles isn’t as attractive as I’d hoped. Can I see something in a slimmer heel?”