Addicted to novelty since 2001

Ugh

As I sit here in my vintage Winnipeg Jets t-shirt, let me assure you that I’m the least qualified person in Canada to dispense fashion advice. I don’t often discuss it on this site. In fact, a quick search for the term fashion suggests that this is the only other entry on the subject (though, now that I think about it, there was a posting on men’s shoes) Also, let me apologize in advance to anyone who wears and enjoys the footwear I’m about to mock. But, frankly, you deserve it.

(Unless, of course, you live in the Arctic or the Australian outback. In these cases, you likely know less about fashion than I do.)

Who decided that Ugg boots were an attractive accessory? What possible aesthetic merits could these boots actually have. I mean, they’re mukluks without the fancy stitching. They’re deeply ugly. Their design seems to run counter to every other fashionable boot (and shoe, for that matter) in history–instead of extending the line of the leg, they actually shorten it. They’re not flattering to any body shape, in any colour, when worn with skirts, shorts or pants.

Yet, celebrities are wearing them and they’re selling out all over the country. Why are people buying them?

These people deserve ridicule because they’re great trend apes. They’re shaved, mimicking baboons. They’re fad monkeys. They’ve chosen not to develop a fashion sense of their own, so they cling with their vogue-seeking prehensile tails to whatever is currently in the fashion mags.

The first and most common protest to my invective will no doubt be “hey, they’re comfortable.” Lay not that flattering unction to your soul. The same women who are buying Ugg boots also wear four-inch heels, ultra-tight jeans and sundry other unpleasant garments. Fashion and comfort are mutually independent of one another, and always will be.

None of us are totally immune to the siren call of fashion. However, I’d expect people to apply common sense. I’d hope that they’d look in the mirror at the shoe store and say, “you know what, having two inside out lambs on my ankles isn’t as attractive as I’d hoped. Can I see something in a slimmer heel?”

10 Responses to “Ugh”

  1. Sue

    Hear hear!

    What makes it even more nonsensical is that these boots are being worn in Vancouver, where even on the coldest day we have, I can still comfortably wear my running shoes without getting anywhere close to frostbitten toes. I could perhaps understand how fashionistas in Calgary might call this a sensible footwear choice, but come on… please put the Birkys back on, Vancouver.

  2. tijo

    You know how you have bad hair days and wear a hat? You wear UGGs when you’re having a bad fashion day. Or else you wear them when you want to make an anti-fashion statement. It’s hip to be nerdy.

  3. meryl

    You must have fashion sense if you see these boots as the ugliest fad ever. You are so right.

  4. becky

    Those aren’t nearly as awful as trucker hats. I can’t tell which is worse — the way they look or the fact that Ashton Kutcher has enough pull to start a fashion “trend.” Yikes.

  5. Boris Mann

    On “trucker hats” a.k.a. “mesh backs”: Ashton did not start this, he is just another fad monkey.

    I consciously decided to not join the mesh back craze, even though I found a treasure trove of fun hats at “Uncle Rick’s Flea Market” near Sudbury, Ontario.

    Cowboy shirts on the other hand…I’ve been collecting/wearing them for about 5 years. I’ve been predicting their rise into fashion for about the same period. Now go and try and buy one at one of the retro/second-hand stores on Main Street — $40 and up. I bought mine for $2!

    I think there might actually be money to be made importing mesh backs and cowboy shirts from Saskatchewan…

  6. becky

    No argument from me about Kutcher being a fad monkey.

    Hey Boris, I could be your Saskatchewan connection if this mesh back/cowboy shirts phenomenon really takes off! ;)

  7. Laree

    i take offence to the reference that us Aussies have less fashion sense than you!!!! After all, we invented thongs (footwear, not underwear!!!) and the Ugg boot!!!

  8. Lily

    I think Ugg boots are sexy! They’re comfortable, like EXTREMELY, and yeah it does get cold in vancouver, and they keep you warm. They definitely look cute when worn with skinny jeans or a pair of shorts. So maybe you guys just need to get a pair of your own and then be one to talk. =)

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