On Giving (and Receiving) Flowers
Ms. Peechie outlines her high standards for receiving flowers. She also offers some sound commentary on sending flowers to a woman’s workplace:
One surefire way to eliminate any sort of floral judgment – send me an arrangement at work. There are few things women like more than overt displays of affection that say “Look how much someone loves me” in front of other people. Any girl who says she doesn’t like stuff like that is a DIRTY LIAR. She is just playing the reverse psychology game; or nobody loves her that much and she’s trying to talk herself into the fact that maybe it’s ok to live alone with 30 cats.
To add to her list (and reiterate a few points):
- Give flowers when there’s no occasion. That’s pretty much the only time
I give flowers–they’re sweeter for the surprise. - Don’t give flowers to say you’re sorry. They’ll look like a cheap tool of
emotional manipulation. Just apologize and save your money. - Stay away from roses. Especially one rose. They’re predictable and tacky.
- For God’s sake, don’t ever give anyone carnations.
- Buy your flowers from a florist. Get them wrapped.
- I rarely get arrangements, and instead select a bunch of a single type of
flower (often in two or three complementary colours). - If you can’t get to a florist, and are only going to the corner grocer,
definitely go with the single type of flowers. The bouquets are likely to
be crass. This is a particularly sound rule if you have no faith in your ability
to evaluate flowers. - I tend to favour daisies, tulips and alstroemeria (the latter last a very
long time). - Try to select some flowers with unopened buds–they’ll last longer.
Should you receive flowers, here are a couple of tips:
- Don’t grill the guy on his flower purchase. Say they’re lovely, put them
in water and move on. - Cut at least an inch off the stems. Cut the stems on a diagonal, as this
will maximize the stem-end surface area. - If you receive tulips, put a penny in the bottom of the vase–it’ll help
keep the stems strong. - Certain flowers disdain cold water. I forget which.
Lastly, a quick pet peeve. It really irritates me when I’ve bought some flowers
and I meet a colleague or friend and they say, jokingly, "oh, somebody
did something wrong!" I know they’re just making a joke, but it implies
a kind of stereotype and emotional stupidity that gets under my skin.
Jill 
joke 
