Addicted to novelty since 2001

Worst Baby Names Ever

A while back, I wrote a cautionary post about naming your children. My friend Gwendolyn recently sent me a link to Baby’s Named a Bad, Bad Thing, subtitled ‘A Primer on Parent Cruelty’.

It’s simple. Some parents are just plain crazy. But few are as crazy as many soon-to-be parents, who, wrapped up in the fear and anticipation, the social status and expectations, go just plain mad. Mad as march hares with swollen ankles and morning sickness. The following is a catalog of naming questions and suggestions posted on several different baby naming bulletin boards going back as far as early 2001. All entries are left unedited except for length.

I had a quick look around the site. Most of the names break at least one of my rules. For example, “I heard the name Zavary today for a boy. I love it!” God help little Zavary.

928 Responses to “Worst Baby Names Ever”

  1. Onyx

    My friend’s friend had a boy but they wanted a girl and so they named their boy London Cash

    Bal Zdeep Reply:

    They should have put it int he dumpster and tried once more

  2. Tim

    Im going to name my daughter labia

    Bal Zdeep Reply:

    How about Vasdeferen

  3. kiki

    I’m going to name my kid Jamie And the boy James

  4. Madiline

    Jamie is the wrost name ever name them luke and Michelle

  5. Brittany

    Worst girl names: Animolpreet (pronounced animalpreet), Roj,
    worst boy names: Leslie, Daxton, Motega, Granger, Egmont,
    worst last names: efimoff (pronounce it out loud
    Poor kids.

  6. Estelle

    My name is Shantee (Shon-Tay) Estelle and I couldn’t stand the name Shantee. I was always called Shanti or Shantitee. I had larger breast. It was just horrible but when I told my mom I was going to change it she made me feel so bad. She said she put a lot of thought into it. I promised myself I wouldn’t give my children names that sucked but I’m convinced Strider is just nice. First boy choice I had but when my first and only child was born (a boy) his father wanted Dylan and so that’s what it is.

  7. pow-wow

    Taught a kid named Epic and another named Notorious. Thought they were both a little extreme but whatever. Some kids never get named legally so their school papers literally say Baby Girl/Boy Jones (or whatever the last name is). Now THAT is sad.

    me Reply:

    well i knew a girl named (literally) Tubi (Pronounced toobay, still weird) and another named Smaka. They were twins.

    Also my aunt recently named her baby boys Firesoul Jacke (pronounced Jake) , Wind Moonstone, and Camelot Parry

    me Reply:

    Oh and i met 4 sister named Anabell, Tarabel,Izabell, and Loolubelle.

    i

  8. lili

    i hate when people name thiere children catherine or kaitlyn… i know 10 caties.its so unoriginal

    Bal Zdeep Reply:

    So is Amanda or Heather or annikan, I hear them all the time

  9. bill small

    my boyfriends name is Winter.. he’s the most popular guy in school .. i wish i had an original name like his.. maybe people would like me more.
    im in grade 6 . i hate me life. im cutting myself as i type this.. you people should stop judging cutters. most of my firends are unhappy and have normal names.. like beth (sorry beth), or jason…

    Rhiann Reply:

    Winter Is A LUSHH Name
    If I Had A Kid I’d Call It

    Boy –

    River
    Tristan
    Winter

    Girl –

    Navia
    Ava
    Hattie
    Autumn

    :)

    Airlia Reply:

    … really. this page had nothing to do with cutters until you mentioned it, so how could we have judged you? and we don’t need a biography of you…

  10. Dean

    worst names I’ve ever heard… aka BEST NAMES (if they’re not yours)

    Mike Hawk
    Mike Hunt
    Mike Litoris
    Justin Case
    Justin Tyme
    Dick Hertz
    Woitas Koczuka
    anything Gay or Gaylord

    hahahaha enjoy!

    PhaedraDawn Reply:

    or Justin Hale

  11. Diana

    : P

    Rhiann Reply:

    Haha
    just-in-case
    Just-in-time
    Dick-hurts
    LOL GAYLORD!!!!!!
    ohmygosh!!

  12. Rhiann

    My Names Rhiann
    And My Sisters Names Are
    Maegan
    and
    Sian

    Are Names Are Welsh with Irish Traces :)

    I Know A Boy Called Annikon (If Thats How U Spell It)
    After The Star Wars Character :/
    Haha He Gets Annie For Short.

    Also His Sisters Called Leah

    and I Know Someone called
    Mario whos brothers called Luigi
    (There Itallian)

  13. Rhiann

    I Also Know A Boy Called Owen Whos REAL Name Is Rainbow
    His Hair Is Longer Than Most Girls

  14. brenna

    a name i hate is Diaria! (boy name) its a real name. i mean diaria! (Pronounced Dee-ar-ee-a) and my name is acctually brenna, i never hear it anywhere but i think its beautiful.

  15. poo

    hi peeps,
    the worst name is bruce or vanilla but in some ways they are awesome

  16. sharron

    no joke there was a girl in my class when i went to school her name was dicktopud pronounced dithtwopwad. :O:O

  17. brenna

    Narrison and bowb! real names!
    Rhidian, Frank, Garrison, Bill,George. Georganne, Maria

  18. Brenna

    Names i like r: (for girls) Bonnie, Melisa, Rebecca.
    (boys) Courtney, Seth, Mark, Damon

  19. Erica

    I can’t believe some of the ignorance and hatefulness in the world ( see the comment at the top about the name Stryder giving a child autism). I actually named my son Stryder and I have get compliments on it every day. I even did my researcg before naming him that by writing to other guys named Stryder asking them how they feel abou their name and if it EVER gave them trouble at any point growing up. Every single person said they loved their unique name and said other kids/people complimented it as well and also never forgot it. the name suits my son perfectly. He is super social and advanced. On 2 occasions since he was born can I remember some grumpy old person giving me a funny look when they asked his name but that is it. To you ignorant people who are saying ugly things like that in relation to a child’s name, hopefully you do not and never will have children. The last thing we need in this world is more close-minded. ignorant, and hatefull people. P.s. I found the name in a baby name book. I did not get it from Lord of the Rings or the video game ‘Strider’. It is an English name meaning ‘A great warrior’.

    Lindsay(1of10) Reply:

    I love the name! And Im glad your son fits his name… I hate when people name thier kids names that dont fit at all!

    Sara Barber Reply:

    Thank you Erica. I also get compliments quite often with my son’s smae Stryder, but there are also people who look at me like “What?” and yes, it is the older people. Great warrior fits my son completely, and this name came about before I knew the meaning. I did give my son the middle name of Thomas, after my late brother, just in case he wanted to use that name instead but he loves his name and kids have never said anything mean to him. We have very strong little men! Shame on the adults that have nothing better to do or say than to rip on kid’s names. I don’t tell parents that they chose boring over-used names for their children–it’s called being a grown-up.

  20. Diana

    Wow. I never realized how many parents give their kids such weird and horrible names.

  21. Belle

    I went to school with a brother and sister named Suede and Denim. Ouch. And I know a baby who’s middle name is Danger… as in ‘Danger is my middle name’… that’s just mean.
    Ps. This whole thing is hilarious. Everybody fighting over Strider and drooling furniture… lol!!!!!!!

  22. andrew king

    well i know this person that is a retard called andrew king

    anita Reply:

    Enough with using the word “Retard” you make yourself sound ridiculous, it is very inappropriate

  23. Lulu

    see the problem is that people who give the kids weird names can’t recognize themselves they just think it’s clever. Anyway, My favorite name of all time was Tene ho…..pronounced teen ho….poor girl when she gets to her teen years.

  24. Shelbie

    I like my name. It is super common but I’ve only met one other girl who spelt it the same. But I like the name Linden for a boy and Emma for a girl. The worst name I’ve ever heard…Yo’Love. Seriously. She went to my school and she was kinda mean…And she had a friend named La’Precious….I’m being serious. We also had a Summer Camp. And my boyfriend went to school with a boy named Sterling Slade Silver.

  25. Chadmicnne``

    Im going to name my kidds these!!
    1) Abernathee(Boy)
    2) Bertha (Girl)
    3) Bessie (Girl)
    4) Hefferly (Fat girl)
    5) Griffeepuff (Boy)

  26. Diana

    Dude i just membered i went 2 grade school with a girl named Precious Parks! I mean it! Its her real name! I have the year book 2 prove it.

  27. Ellen

    …you people all need lives….

    Johncel Reply:

    what about you??

  28. Tom

    My borther-in-law was going to name my sister and his son Zinjen. I told him that I would slap my daddy if he named me that. They second thought it and named him Colter.
    I had your back way back then Colter. (16 years ago)

    Airlia Reply:

    that sounds asian.. chinese probably. i think it means golden something…

  29. Bob

    I know a couple who named their 2 kids Secret and Whisper. Dumbest ones I’ve heard yet. Stryker’s middle name Booty? That would be Stryker Booty aka Bitch Slap. Why not name your ottoman kid Hitler? He won’t know the difference. Never will. Or better yet, name him Bob. lmao!

    david Reply:

    Went to school with a girl named Edith Morehead

    david Reply:

    I went to school with a girl named Edith Morehead

  30. Denyse

    My granddaughters name is Lyric Cadence. I always said if I even had another girl, I would name her that. So my daughter asked if she could use it. And Lyric lives up to her name, thankfully!! She LOVES music. She is expecting a sister in a few months and daddy wants to name her Melissha!! UCKK!! My daughter was thinking Emberlynd or Brynly. Both, I think great and unique names. But Melissha!! daddy needs to go away!!

  31. anonomus

    I went to school with this guy whos middle name is Makenna. My name happens to be Carolina Joy and i love it.

  32. Daniel

    Denyse’s family needs to be banned from the letter “y”. Lyric is definitely not a good name.

    Not defending my own either. I spent one semester in HS in two classes as one of four Dan’s. There was also no cross-over between the “other Dan’s” meaning that I was one of 7 Dan’s in only two classes. I think parents just got lazy in the 80’s.

    My friend works as a help desk clerk at a university and has access to everyone’s name. Can Toker is our favourite. The one that is so bad that I can’t even laugh at though is Pix Butt. I really wish I made that one up. Female too.

  33. greywhg

    the worst celeb name by far is all jason lee. he named his son…. Pilot Inspektor(yes, inspector is with a k)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  34. jerk off

    i no a peron wit the name megon and i thik hes sexy

    Johncel Reply:

    i think your keyboard has some problems

  35. LOLZ@SMOKE ME

    You are also not saying anything to our faces, you are on this site, posting stuff, you probably found this site searching in google cuz you have nothing to do, same as me, but this day at work is kinda slow, anyways, get real nerd

  36. FarmerG

    I worked with a wonderful young lady who’s parents had named her LaTrina. Anybody familiar with military terminology knows what a latrine is. We all called her “Treeny” and that worked.

  37. DeOndra

    Names are as different as the people who bare. Some parents are downright cruel when naming their children. Different names does not necessarily mean bad things, but I have read some that were bad. I was given a tongue twister as a newborn…. DeOndra DeOna Deans. (dee-ahn-dra dee-oo-na). I swore I would not do that to my kids. However I did give my daughters two different names, maybe they are more common than I think, but I believe my spelling is different. Their names are Joeli and Jaemi. The J e and i are in the same position. I like it.

  38. bubba

    i no some1 who is called “u are all losers”

    Johncel Reply:

    seriously???!! what cruel parent would do that?

  39. Lindsay(1of10)

    Well… I loooove the name Stryder/Striker…
    Im pregnant wit my 3rd and we considered Jakotay if its a boy(Yes, from star trek) but if this one is a boy it will Evren Victor.
    My son is Daymien Xavier and my daughter is CieraBel Rose.
    I hated being one of 10 Lindsays and there was ANOTHER Lindsay K, so unless we both wrote our FULL names, middle name included, we would get docked points by alot of teachers(Small school)…
    But My horrible names to add to this list, when I had my son, the nurse told me a lady named her son, Korn and the last name? Canning.
    Also names that terrify mean are the ones wear it seriously looks like the mom threw like 30 letters into a bowl, poured it out and whatever was face up was the letters she used to name her child…

  40. Lindsay(1of10)

    Wow! I made alot f typing errors… Thats what I get for not proof reading.

    Well… I loooove the name Stryder/Striker…
    Im pregnant wit my 3rd and we considered Jakotay if its a boy(Yes, from star trek) but if this one is a boy it will Evren Victor.
    My son is Daymien Xavier and my daughter is CieraBel Rose.
    I hated being one of 10 Lindsays and there was ANOTHER Lindsay K, so unless we both wrote our FULL names, middle name included, we would get docked points by alot of teachers(Small school)…
    But a horrible name to add to this list, when I had my son, the nurse told me a lady named her son, Korn and the last name? Canning.
    Also names that terrify me are the ones where it seriously looks like the mom threw like 30 letters into a bowl, poured it out and whatever was face up was the letters she used to name her child…

  41. Viannella

    I work at a jewelry store and we have this new costumer named Dickshitz Kushman, he’s from australia.. I couldnt stop laughing when he said his name, good thing I was in the storage room and he couldnt hear me laughing… lol

  42. Tristan langford- jackson

    What do you think of
    My name tristan langford- jackson, btw im a bou.
    Firstname/ surname

  43. Taline

    my brother’s name is joeseph king
    we call his joe king
    joking hahahahha

    Johncel Reply:

    haha funny

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