Addicted to novelty since 2001

More Small Talk Woes

Today I get in the elevator, and there are already two people inside. The woman is saying how she was recently in a car accident, and is off to get some massage therapy. The elevator is nearing my floor, so I (against my better judgement), decide to interject:

ME: Don’t let them use the suction cups on you.
HER: Pardon?
ME: Massage therapists–they have these suction cups and apparently they’re torture.
HER: I’m a massage therapist and I’ve never heard of any suction cups.
ME: Well, I understand they’re very nineteenth century.

The guy laughs, and I scurry through the elevator doors which have mercifully just opened.

Clearly she needs to engage in some professional development, because I wasn’t lying about the suction cups.

Previous small talk woes including the Dog Incident and the Turkish Delight Gaffe.

13 Responses to “More Small Talk Woes”

  1. 'nee

    It’s tempting just to show up in your elevator one day, just so that you’ll have another in the Elevator Gaffes series. They’re very funny.

  2. Compmouse

    I always thought the suction cup thing was more of a Chinese thing that was used for acupressure. Are you sure this is a massage technique?

  3. Rob Cottingham

    The closest thing I’ve seen to that was the horrific “treatment” montage in The Madness of King George. This is nothing like that… right?

  4. Darren

    Compmouse: Well, clearly, I’m not sure about much. However, I do know someone who had this technique done to them by a massage therapist. It may not be prevalent among massage therapists generally, though.

  5. Mel

    My massage therapist suggested cupping once, and although it was a strange feeling, I wouldn’t go so far as to liken it to torture. I did, however, have a large area of hickey-like markings on my back for the week following the treatment. Those marks that peeked out over my neckline were an interesting conversation piece – and probably led some to believe that I had recently received a severe beating.

  6. filmgoerjuan

    I’ve also only heard about the cupping technique in regards to Traditional Chinese Medicine (acupuncture/acupressure). Still, if it makes for good blog fodder then I’m all for it! :)

  7. Andrea

    You were probably talking to a registered massage therapist. They tend to shy away from spa treatments and non-traditional approaches.

  8. jd

    i knew a guy whose wife bought a home set (you can get them at the local Korean version of Wal-mart) and would use them on him each night before bed. she wanted a baby and it wasn’t happening fast enough, so out came the cups!

    with no medical training, i’ve decided that the cups don’t do much. as far as numerous Koreans have explained to me, the whole idea is related to “good” and “bad” blood. the cups bring “bad” blood to the surface, where it is taken care of, somehow.

    sounds good, but it’s an idea that was developed before people knew that blood moves in the body and therefore must be as helpful as leaches and bloodletting.

  9. donna

    strange. I’ve only ever seen those used in a rather… non-therapeutic method. Um. Yeah. Carrying on now.

  10. Jeremy Pepper

    See, you needed to say ‘cupping’ and she’d have known what you are talking about.

    But, come on, a PR person that can’t small talk? What do you do at tradeshows or conferences?!

  11. Monique

    My physio has suction cups, but she uses the pads instead. Now take that out of context and enjoy the day.

    The suction cups, I think, are for an inferential? It’s a machine that sends a nice current through a muscle that won’t release. It feels like a waterfall, with the pads that is. I don’t know what the cups feel like.

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