DarrenBarefoot.com

I’m not surprised they fall outside the average - I doubt the average 28 year old woman is university educated and employed in a career related job.

I’m sure this varies from province to province as well - women in BC likely have fewer children than, say, women in Quebec (higher catholic population) or women in Newfoundland.

Also, this is just the average. The median number might be more useful in this situation. Remember, the average person has fewer than two legs :).

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Seven or eight years ago, a huge cohort of my wife’s childhood and university friends—most university-educated, with solid professional jobs—started having kids in their mid- to late 20s. And she was one of them: our daughters are now 5 and 7, and we’re both 36.

Oddly, none of my friends did the same, and only now are a few of them getting ready to have kids. What I found among our (meaning, my wife’s) friends is that many of them set up non-traditional (i.e. not just “mommy stays home”) care arrangements for their children.

In our example, after my wife’s maternity leaves, I stayed home and worked part-time and then freelance while she remained as a full-time teacher. More recently, we’ve both moved to part-time permanent jobs as our kids move into the school years.

For those people who are genuinely interested in having kids “someday”—and while I do know some people who never want kids, they aren’t the majority—I’d like to note that you can’t, and shouldn’t, put it off indefinitely.

Not only is it more difficult (both for men and women) to conceive and have healthy children when you’re older, the time when children are a relentless demand on you is, relatively speaking, fairly short. By next year, both my daughters will be in school from 9 to 3 every weekday. So from 1998 to 2006, I will have been concerned primarily with day-to-day parenting tasks. Then your kids become more and more independent people (which has its own stresses, of course).

The question, then, has to be: When is the best time in your life for the kids to take over, and your career (perhaps) to languish? And, more pointedly, do you want to be near retirement age before the last of your children grows up?

Those were questions we asked ourselves when we decided to try (and succeeded in) having children in the mid’-’90s. The modern luxury is to have the choice at all.

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My sister will be 11 when my parents retire. (They’re both retiring when my mom hits 55. Yeah, she’s the nut who had her first kid at 22, and her second at 44.)

I can’t decide if I feel really sorry for her, or if she’s the luckiest kid in the world: They plan on doing a lot of travelling. Forget the cruddy field trips to Bear Creek Park… try a field trip to the Grand Canyon.

On the other hand, being a teenager and having your parents home all the freaking time? Well, we’ll teach her how to use transit and she can come visit her big sister and bitch about how “Mom just doesn’t understand me!” Or something like that. :)

Me? I’ve already made my choice, I’m not having kids. If my mom wants grandchildren, she can start convincing my sister now while she’s still young enough to mold.

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i was recently shocked to hear that i have 4 friends that are hovering around 40 who are either having their first or second child.

i had my kids around 30 and am glad i am young enough to keep up with them.

my father was 40 when i was born. i’ve got a great history with him. but he’s likely to be long gone when my daughter gets married. it’s not just about the age of the parents, but the age of the grandparents - grandparents provide a lot of help and historical grounding for a family.

and, parting comment, the more education a woman has, the less children she has and the later she has them. wanna reduce the birth rates in developing countries? give more schooling to the mothers.

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Timely question. I just confirmed that I’m pregant again (my 4th, my husband’s 2nd - all planned and wanted).

I’m a significant minority amongst my friends. Only four had planned to have children, two have so far succeeded. Most are child-free by choice.

Having divorced the father of my two older children, my husband and I decided to extend our family. (I had always sworn that I did not want to be pregnant after 35¦ so much for that. I now see a couple of sides of the spectrum having had my first at 27, my last to be delivered when I am 37).

Which, to me, brings up an interesting question¦ how many women (or men) in their procreating years who do divorce decide to extend and blend the family?

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Somehow, a small sampling of 20 people doesn’t seem very scientific. If I were to pose the same question to my friends, I know that the results would be different. I guess I just know more people with kids. That doesn’t say much though.

Regardless, as you point out, statistically, our population is growing, not shrinking. Personally, I’d prefer shrinking.

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The average age of immigrants to Canada is only about one year younger than the average age of people born in Canada. Yes, really. They’re going to need senior care at the same time you will.

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