August 8th, 2005

Filed under:
Politics

Finally, Affordable Weapons for the US Military

This is just bizarre. I was reading this article about the Sea Fighter, an aluminum catamaran the size of a football field. It’s a Navy warship designed to fight in shallow water and combat small attack boats like the kind that damaged the USS Cole.

The Sea Fighter was developed by the alarmingly-named Titan Corp (do they sound like the antagonists in a sci-fi movie, or what?). If you’re in the market for such a vessel, and have US $79 million kicking around, you can peruse their brochure (PDF).

Here’s the weird part: the ship has a complement of hundreds of “cruise-like” (not Tom, I assume) missiles, “built entirely with off-the-shelf components and costing about a tenth of the cost of a traditional cruise missile”. And they’re called–I kid you not–Affordable Weapons. Here’s a little video (WMV, and it features the strange phrase “Missile Goes to Loiter”) of one of them in action.

I’m imagining the conversation in enemy territory after a missile strike:

Soldier #1: I heard Marwan got killed.
Soldier #2: Yeah, it’s a bummer.
Soldier #1: How’d it happen?
Soldier #2: Ah, the usual. Killed by an Affordable Weapon.

Comments: 4 Responses so far

Hey, my company shares a building with Titan. I wonder if I can find one of those affordable machines squirreled away in a storage closet somewhere.

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By the time soldiers are talking about it, the term won’t be Affordable Weapon. It will be AW (pronounced the same as awe) ’cause everyone is in such a damn hurry.

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I worked for Titan Corporation for close to three years. They do their profitability calculations in “number of dollars per kill”.

Yes, they did REALLY call it that.

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What a synergistic synthesis of consumerism and the military. I expect we’ll be seeing Weapons of Massive Savings, Fully Automatic Pricebusters, and maybe even an Old Navy 10megaton Blowout Bomb.

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