November 16th, 2005

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Sports
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A Funny Thing Happened After the Canucks Game Tonight

My friend Matthew and I were at a local public house this evening to watch the Canucks pay-per-view game. We were at the back of the bar, watching the game projected this enormous–say, 15 feet across–screen. The game finished (the Canucks won), and the bartender went to change the channel. It was one of those digital systems where the current program on the next channel displays along the bottom of the screen. We had just long enough to read “Asian Cheerleader Cavity Search” and catch a half-second glimpse of pistoning flesh, before the bartender surfed back to the post-game show.

Comments: 2 Responses so far

Paolo
November 17th, 2005
8:06 am

Heh. A couple of years back, some friends and I were sitting at Brutopia, in Montreal, when I noticed an attractive woman at a neighbouring table looking up at the TV with a sly smile. I followed her gaze to a porn flick that was happily playing on the ‘boob’ tube.

I’m not sure which was hotter, her for the expression on her face of the scene unfolding on the set. OK, her expression wins hands down. I’m just sayin’ …

Anyway, it took about five minutes before anyone mentioned this to the bartender.

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Kennedy
November 17th, 2005
10:23 am

Same idea, other end of the scale…

When the Canucks fell to Calgary in spring 2003, I watched the game a friend’s house.
If you’re a Canucks fan you know that Matt Cooke nearly made the most exciting goal in Canucks history - and I contend that had they managed to win that game, that Cooke’s short-handed, last-second, game-tieing goal would be better remembered that Bure’s famous goal agains the same team ten years earlier.

Anyhow… Canucks lost. Cooke has yet to establish his legend. The mood in that room was deadly - as I have no doubt it was across the city.

We watched about 8 seconds of the post-game before someone angrily mashed at the remote, just to get it to something else… which by random chance turned out to be community access.

The show was a three-piece rock band, doing a televised concert from what appeared to be an abandoned store front with no audience - except for those of us at home. And these guys were awful. Straight-up MOR pop-rock. Lead singer ranged from trite to unintelligible. The drummer was (thankfully) the lone poser in the group, and possibly the most talented of the three although it was really hard to tell as the whole was abyssmal. The bassist was the only one who had an actual air of cool, but was simplistic at best and was probably ten years older than the other two.

Their badness combined with the simple oddness of their presence being broadcast from this barren place was soothingly amusing.

Who were these guys? Why were they on TV? Had some guy at the station planted a camera in their rehearsal space, ’cause he knew that they were sublimely terrible?

I can’t say I’d recommend them - if I knew who to recommend - but thirty minutes of them were exactly what we needed to take the edge off that loss.

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