My friend Sarah Carey is usually pretty rational and intelligent. However, she recently wrote a wrong-minded piece about why homosexual men shouldn’t adopt. Perhaps all that time beyond the pale is idling her brain?
My gut tells me that when you are homosexual you’re kinda cut out of the whole reproduction game. I know one hasn’t chosen this but still, its one of the downsides. I think its a consequence that gay couples just have to live with it. I come to this from a position of feeling that it is the ultimate in misogyny to have a relationship which excludes women but want the benefits of our wombs.
In case you’re wondering, she also writes off lesbians and single parents who want to adopt.
Sarah is, of course, deeply wrong about this:
- On paper, gay couples will make better parents. They’ve got more money, are better educated and less likely to commit a crime.
- One male parent and one female parent guarantees nothing–any pair of imbeciles can have a child. When you adopt, you face a thorough evaluation and a certain Darwinism applies. Because all prospective gay parents will face this examination, the average gay parent will likely be far more adept and prepared than the average straight one.
- Most importantly, if we can improve the life of any orphaned child, don’t we have a moral obligation to do so? Even accepting Sarah’s ridiculous argument that straight couples are ideal, wouldn’t gay people and single parents offer a preferable future than the orphanage? Enabling them to adopt means thousands of children get parents and the prospect of a much better life. Who would deny them that?
Sarah writes that "I am not just not sure that the concept of everyone having a ‘right’ to be a parent is sound." I couldn’t agree more, but why is she picking on homosexuals? Walk around the north side of Dublin among the teenage mothers and you’ll see that the minimum requirement of an egg and sperm is a lousy standard.
Speaking of adoption, I recently listened to an engaging podcast of an article on Slate. It’s by a new (heterosexual) father who adopted a baby girl from Kazakhstan.