Addicted to novelty since 2001

The Great Soup Panacea

While I was sick, my friend Heather kindly sent along this recipe for soup that she promised would ‘knock any virus flat on its’ spiny little ass’. I got some antibiotics the same day I got the recipe, and they seem to be doing the trick, so I never tried the latter. With Heather’s permission, I thought I’d pass it on to the world. The recipe is after the jump.

  • 1 glop cooking oil
  • 1 medium onion, diced
  • 5 cloves garlic, crushed and minced
  • 1 medium green jalapeno pepper (diced, seeds and stems removed)
  • 1 tablespoon cumin
  • 1/2 teaspoon cardamom
  • 1 teaspoon ancho chili powder (if you use crushed red chili peppers, use
    1/2 teaspoon instead)
  • 1 large can crushed tomatoes
  • 4 diced tomatoes (I prefer Romas)
  • 4 cups vegetable (or chicken, whatever you prefer) stock

 

  • 1/2 sliced avocado
  • shredded cilantro
  • shredded parmesan cheese
  • glop o’ plain yoghurt
  • crushed tortilla chips

Add a glop of oil to the bottom of the pot, turn on heat. Add onions and garlic.
Saute for a few minutes to release flavour and healthy oils. Add cumin, cardamom
and ancho chili powder. Stir to coat onions, garlic
in said mixture. Add the diced jalapeño and saute for several minutes.
Do NOT look directly into the pot when you add the jalapeno. I learned this
the hard way; it’s like the Ark of the Covenant in there.

OK, you’re tired of stirring and sauteing. Fine. Add the can of crushed tomatoes,
the diced tomatoes and the stock. Turn up the heat. Wait. It’ll boil. Once it
does, turn down the heat to low and let it simmer for an hour or so. Go watch
a few episodes of The IT Crowd and marvel at how Moss gets his hair to stay
that way. Check on concoction. If you’ve mastered stirring and temperature controls
thar’ll be soup in them thar pot. Add salt and pepper to taste. Squeeze the
juice of 2 limes into the pot. This will help to balance the spice of the chilies
and cumin.

This is where it gets fun… When you’re ready to serve, put a few avocado
slices in the bottom of the bowl, then add the soup. Garnish with cilantro,
shredded parmesan and plain yoghurt. If you like, add a few tortilla chips crumbled
on top. This soup will do wonders for any congestion. Better than Vicks and
less menthol-y, too.

2 Responses to “The Great Soup Panacea”

  1. Adam

    I have wondered at great length how he keeps it that way. I’m anxiously waiting for the next episode.

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