My Canucks Off-Season Fantasy
The following is only of interest to a minority of my dear readers, but heck, it’s the long weekend. I’d imagine noboby’s reading today anyway.
As local sports fans will know, the only thing the Vancouver Canucks will be competing for in the near future are good tee times at Capilano Golf and Country Club.
I recently posted the following to the Canucks Usenet group, describing my ideal off-season activities by the team: [more]
- Crawford and his assistants get fired.
- Bertuzzi gets traded to Florida for Nathan Horton and a draft pick. This has been rumoured, and Keenan’s always liked Bertuzzi.
- Morrison and Cloutier get traded for young players and draft picks.
- Brown, Weinrich, Carney, Ruutu, Park and other riff-raff are not re-signed.
- They bring in a new coaching team from outside the organization.
- Using the money saved from Bertuzzi, Morrison and Cloutier’s departure, the team re-signs the Sedins, Carter, Auld and Jovanoski.
- They start next season with Auld and Noronen, give them and Corey Schneider (unlikely, but you never know) an equal shot at the starting job. If none of the them work out, they upgrade during the season.
The lineup for opening night 2006-07 looks like this:
Sedin Sedin Carter
Hecht (or whoever) Norton Naslund
Cooke Kesler Burrows
King? Linden Goren?
Jovanoski Ohlund
Salo Allen
Bouron Bieksa
Auld
Noronen
Someone pointed out that my off-season fantasy ought to at least include Jessica Alba, but what’re you going to do?
