April 17th, 2006

Filed under:
Movies

Rejected Titles for ‘Snakes on a Plane’

The Web has been a-buzzing about this plainly named new film starring Samuel L. Jackson. I’ve been kicking around titles the studio might have rejected:

  • Sharks on a Boat
  • Bears on a Train
  • The Black Guy Lives Through Act One
  • Business Class, Business Asp
  • A Viper in the Exit Row
  • Snake Bombers of Saudi Arabia
  • Untitled Screenplay Combining Phobias

Well, those are all pretty lame. I also had Air-de-Lance but that was too awful and obscure to even include in my list. Surely somebody has something better?

Comments: 7 Responses so far

“Monty’s Flying Python Circus”?

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To be honest. I thought it was a joke.

http://feeds.feedburner.com/boingboing/iBag?m=784

It seems like an entry for the Bruce Schneier - Terrorist Movie Plot contest.

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It’s a lot like the movie “Vampires on a Plane”.

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I can’t take credit for all of these… but these are some possible sequels.

Spiders on a Bus.
Chimps on a Ferris wheel.
Sharks on a Hovercraft
Lions on a roller coaster.
Fleas on a Bicycle.
Tse-Tse Flies on a Roller Skate
“Your Mom in A Bus Station”
Coyotes in a Subaru
mo0nkleys all over your bitch ass
Bedbugs on a BoogieBoard.
Lampreys on a Jet Ski
Prions in a Cell Wall!
Leeches on an UltraLight
Sharp Objects In A Drawer
Scorpions in a Rollerskate
Dingos on a Pogo Stick
Koalas On A Submarine
Murderous Clowns Under A Bed.
Leopards on a Segway.
Old People at McDonalds

[Reply]

I think ‘Sharp Objects In A Drawer’ is the stand-out there. Though I like the pictures that ‘Leopards on a Segway’ and ‘Koalas On A Submarine’ make in my head.

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Gerbils on a Jungle Gym
Smurfs on Smack
Chainsaws on a Choo Choo
Dandruff on my Dresser
Caterwauling Cats on a Careening Catamaran
Bushes in the White House

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‘Skyslither’
‘A Reptile Dysfunction’
‘Planes, Snakes and Terroristmobiles’
‘Mortal Coils’
‘Snakejack’
‘Serpentine Draft’
‘Once Bitten, Twice No Fly’
‘Captain Cobra’
‘8 Snakes in a Travel Bag’
‘V for Viper (On a Plane)’
‘Flight SN4K3′
‘Air Snake’
‘Going Down in Hiss-tory’
‘Hissy Fit’
‘Snakersonic’
‘Passenger Python’
‘Sidewinder in the Sky’
‘Aisle, Window or Snakepit?’
‘Aviophidiophobia’

Really the possibilites are endless. Although I sympathize with the studio, its hard to combine snakes and planes in a catchy way.

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