Addicted to novelty since 2001

Pre-Season Your Turkey in the Woods

I’m test-driving a new-to-me enterprise class web stats package on my site at the moment. More on that later, possibly. Anyhow, I noticed that a bunch of people were finding my site based on the search phrase ‘how to kill a turkey’.

First off, what kind of situation have these people found themselves in?

  • Did someone just deposit a live turkey on their doorstep?
  • Did the orders get mixed up at Butterball, and they were shipped a live turkey instead of a dead one?.
  • Are they barricaded in their home while angry turkeys crowd the front porch, shaking their wattles threateningly through the screen door?

Unfortunately for those searchers, the page they’re finding on my site won’t help them. The post’s topic does, however, bear repeating, given its innovative and seasonal (heh) nature.

It’s Season Shot, and is downright clever:

Season Shot is made of tightly packed seasoning bound by a fully biodegradable food product. The seasoning is actually injected into the bird on impact seasoning the meat from the inside out. When the bird is cooked the seasoning pellets melt into the meat spreading the flavor to the entire bird. Forget worrying about shot breaking your teeth and start wondering about which flavor shot to use!

How smart is that?

3 Responses to “Pre-Season Your Turkey in the Woods”

  1. James

    Debbie downer comment coming…

    I’ve shot wild turkeys before and I’m pretty highly skeptical this would work.

    First, you really have to wallop a turkey to kill it. Any lightening of the shot will make this more difficult. So you’re actually making the hunting harder and the killing less swift if the seasoning isn’t as dense as normal shot.

    Second, who wants a pellet of seasoning? If that was desireable, wouldn’t people put peppercorns or other hard, small pills of spice into the meat of their bird?

    Better to my mind to just shoot the bird well in the first place, hopefully not in the body. Then pluck it by hand. Follow any blood marks on the skin of the bird to the pellet that made the mark. Remove it and you have a fresh bird, ready to cook.

    Perhaps they could come up with a nice peppered pun?

  2. darren

    Dude, that is a downer. Maybe you could use smaller calibre seasoning and go after pheasants and game hens?

    I liked the carefully worded phrase ‘hopefully not in the body’. I take it that means you aim for the head?

  3. James

    Head shot is the best shot. I thought it best to not fully exposed your readership to any thoughts about what it takes to put food on the table.

    The lighter seasoning shot would work better for upland birds — pheasants, game hens, grouse, quail. But still, pulverizing meat with spices is not my idea of fine dining.

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