Addicted to novelty since 2001

I’m Physically Incapable of Wearing Slippers

Because we’ve been living in old, chilly stone houses of the past year, I’ve started wearing slippers for the first time in my adult life. I bought some garden-variety, Leave-it-to-Beaver slippers in Malta. They don’t look quite as silly as these, but the shape is the same.

This is kind of embarrassing, but two things happen with alarming regularity when I’m wearing my slippers:

  • They fall off. Particularly when I’m climbing or descending stairs. This isn’t surprising. After all, they have no heels.
  • They cause painful cramps or, maybe, hyper-extensions in my toes. This usually happens when I stand up. It’s like my poor little toes have been tensed inside the slipper, and they get a little, well, sprained when I shift positions.

It’s ridiculous, I know. Regardless, I look forward to getting back to Canada, a nice hardwood floor and plain old socks.

9 Responses to “I’m Physically Incapable of Wearing Slippers”

  1. wader

    i love me some slippers… soft sole only… don’t give up on them.

  2. Michael

    Perhaps I should post this anonymously, but as long as you don’t go out (hence looking like a German tourist in Banff), Birkenstock sandals with socks make great (if expensive) slippers!

  3. Tzaddi

    I get crampy feet when I wear backless shoes too. (How some women wear certain kinds of shoes daily I’ll never know…)

    Maybe some good mocs would do the trick if it’s not too hot there for that. I’ve had mocs and booties from slipperfactory.com and looove them.

  4. Derek K. Miller

    You didn’t even mention the appropriateness of this post to your name!

    I have many pairs of slippers I never wear. Even when I was in the hospital in July I asked my wife to bring sandals for me instead. Socks will do as well.

    Slippers are just not comfy for me, even if they do have heels — I think the flatness of their bottoms is the main problem, since they lack arch support but also don’t let you use your foot’s own shape as socks or bare feet do.

  5. Meryl

    you just need the right ones. Slippers are healing…think sheepskin.

  6. Brent

    Best slippers I have found:
    http://padraigcottage.com/detail.aspx?ID=19

    Made of wool and sheepskin, warm in the winter and cool in the summer. And they have a heel! Not cheap but well worth it – my first pair lasted about 8 years.

    As a bonus, their made in Padraig Cottage (err, a basement) right in Lynn Valley on the North Shore.

  7. Derek K. Miller

    I think this is a semi-religious thing: people who wear and like slippers want the rest of us to become enlightened and find the perfect pair. But believe me, we’ve tried, and there’s little point in trying to convert us now. I wear shoes outside; in the house, bare feet or socks are what’s comfortable to me. However mysterious that may be to the slippered among us, just accept it.

  8. Dick Carlson

    OK. You win. You got a three-paragraph blog post out of SLIPPERS! (Not to mention nine comments.)

    I plan to use you as an example, the next time someone asks me “what do you write about?”

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