Back in July, I wondered why we didn’t have doulas for the process of dying. Several commenters suggested that hospice and careworkers filled this niche, and I thought thought that explanation made sense.
However, there’s apparently still a market for death doulas or, as I read in today’s Miami Herald, death midwives:
An ordained minister from Sebastopol, Calif., Lyons started a nonprofit organization called Final Passages. She teaches workshops about such topics as how to care for a body while it’s in the family home and about burials outside traditional cemeteries.
Lyons also guides families through the legalities and paperwork of at-home funerals — death certificates and body transport permits — while providing emotional support and counseling. Her services can run from $500 to $1,500.
As a very unscientific litmus test of this idea’s popularity, I’ll note here that since July 29, there have been 65 people that found this site while searching terms relating to doulas and death. I’ll try to check back in another six months or a year, to see if there’s any up-tick in activity.
The thing about Mark’s death: I did not know him, but I do know everything that was “last” in his too short life. I know the last song he listened to was Instant Death by the Beastie Boys. I know that Last.fm last saw him Monday evening. He has a cat, whom I hope is taken care of. Five days ago he posted a picture of a Cisco Aironet he got from Ebay. He has nephews.
This sad news reminded me of a resource that, as far as I know, the web is missing. What happens when a social media creator dies? What do his or her less web-savvy friends and family do about the online portion of the deceased’s life? There are two kinds of questions that need answering:
What do we do with all of the social media assets–blogs, Flickr photos, YouTube videos, Facebook pages, and so forth–that are left behind? Do we keep them online, archive them offline or just delete everything?
Once we’ve figured that out, how do we make that plan happen? What are the postmortem policies of sites like Facebook or MySpace? How do we realize our plans for these assets? Who do we contact?
Someone ought to build a site (or even just host a wiki) that helps people answer these questions. It would be a guide to thinking about posthumous social media stuff, and a centralized catalog for the relevant policies of social media sites. Does such a website exist already?
Curating Digital Resources of the Deceased
It doesn’t need one, but there’s probably a business model for such a site. It would involving consulting for grieving families as a kind of digital mortician. I first wrote about that idea back in 2003, but the ubiquity of social media makes it a lot more urgent and widespread today.
I know that there are a bunch of memorializing sites out there (here’s an Irish one I recently heard about), but I don’t know how well they handle distributed blogs, videos, photos and so forth. I imagine that they’re mostly built after the fact. Likewise, I know certain sites enable a kind of permanent remembrance setting for accounts. Facebook faced some controversy about this before implementing this approach.
On a related note, bloggers, podcasters and other social media creators should include digital assets in their wills.
On Mark’s site, a friend has posted this message:
With Marks passing away, the future of this site has become uncertain. While we are sure the site will remain online for a considerable time to come, we are looking for a proper way to honour Mark and his assembled works.
I’d like to end this sombre post on an upbeat note, so here’s a charming song about the potential longevity of your MySpace account:
I’ve recently received a few well-worded pitches on interesting stuff. I don’t have enough time to delve into these in great detail, but I wanted to give them all a little attention:
Open as a way of working is spreading well beyond the world of technology. Open source software. Open public policy. Open art. Open music. Open space events. Open networks. Open philanthropy. This is at once disruptive and transformational – a new way of working. The Open Everything retreat is for the people who are making this happen. It’s about helping us take our work to the next level, giving us the tools and insights to spread this work further and faster.
Sounds like a great event. Mind you, I don’t see many artists, musicians or, come to think of it, women, listed among the attendees, so I’d imagine it’s going to be a very nerdy time. I have some personal misgivings about Hollyhock, but it’s an extraordinarily beautiful spot.
Indochino
Kyle at Indochino has sent me a couple of emails about his order-a-custom-suit-online business. He recently sent me a link to this page, which explains how their suits get made (the misordered photos trouble the slumbering technical writer in me).
I’ve always been a little skeptical of this suit-buying model, but their prices seem quite reasonable, so I’ve ordered a few fabric swatches to see what they feel like.
MyWonderfulLife
I’m surprised that it’s taken until 2008 for me to discover a plan-your-own-funeral site. Others may exist, but this is the first one I’ve encountered:
MyWonderfulLife.com is a free on-line service to help you plan and personalize your own funeral, so it reflects the way you lived. Becoming a member at MyWonderfulLife.com does not take the place of a Will, which is very important, but allows you to eliminate the guesswork for your loved ones during a difficult time.
In many cases, the Will cannot be located or read in time for the funeral, and may not contain the information that you can provide at MyWonderfulLife.com. Being able to print out a one-page summary of your wishes, as well as other important information they need to know, will allow your loved ones more time to celebrate your life.
I had a related idea a while back, so I called them up and told them what it was. It’d be a killer marketing strategy for them.
