Two Unrelated Photos

August 22nd, 2010, 3 Comments »

I was at Terra Breads the other day, and spotted this sign. If you ask me, the diction of the first sentence feels overly precise:

There’s such a thing as being too correct. Their breakfast paninis, however, are tasty.

While at Gnomedex, I noticed that the conference centre had removed their pay phones from their phone nook. I don’t really mourn their loss, as the barrier to entry for a cell phone is so low.

3 Comments »

11 Consumer Macro Trends for 2010 from Larry Wu

August 21st, 2010, 2 Comments »

I’m at the tenth (and last, as it happens) Gnomedex down in Seattle. I just watched Larry Wu, a kind of brand research and development guru (his bio is on this page) give a talk about trends. Among other things, he presented a list of current macro trends which I quite liked. I transcribed his slide, and added a few notes from his talk.

Artisan – The return to handcrafted one of a kind objects, services and activities that express personal style.

Cultural fusion – Proactive interest in experiencing multiple cultures and new culture hybrids grounded in popular and consumer culture. The simplest expressions are in music and food. See, for example, Bollywood or the Kogi trucks in Los Angeles.

Fingerprinting – Search for and articulation of one’s unique identity. Fingerprinting is expressed through an individuals’ collection of unique passion points.

Health monitor – The softer side of wellness is elbowed aside as people turn to science and medicine to answer health issues, from life-threatening to life-enhancing. Think self-treatment.

Hyperlife – Life as a multitasking, multi-sensory barrage. If you’re doing on thing at a time, you’re probably bored.

Memory marketing – Using history as an active resource to take a nostalgic trip through time, recoiling the stuff of our collective past. See, for example, the new 2010 Mustang that feels retro.

Merit badges – The shift in values to collect experiences rather than things; the recasting of social status from what one has to what one does.

Ready, set, go – Innovation plus convenience: the seamless combination is the ultimate answer to soothing the roaring demands of stressed-out. The SmartCup XPress lid is an interesting example of confined macro-trends.

Celbri-Me – Look at me, listen to me, but don’t get too close. It really is all about me. Watch this set of consumers create their own 15 minutes of fame.

2 Comments »

Select Quotes From Gnomedex

August 22nd, 2009, 4 Comments »

For the fifth time, I’ve been at Gnomedex this weekend. It’s the usual melange of fascinating speakers, good friends and general nerdiness. Derek aptly described it as “a web society annual family reunion”.

I’ve been collecting a few of the better quotes I’ve heard over the past two days, and thought I’d share:

Phil Plait: “You know what you call alternative medicine when it works? Medicine.”

Phil Plait: “Your lips say 0, but your eyes say 1″.

Todd Friesen: “Pay Per Click = PPC = ‘Pills, Porn, and Casinos’”

Chris Brogan: “Twitter is a good way to tell the world what you’re thinking, before you think about it.”

Jim Ray: “Are there any Django or Python hackers in the room? Well we got the guy who invented Django. So [with a certain gangster pose], what?”

Jim Ray: “Every journalist in the country discovered Twitter on January 15 of this year.”

Chris Pirillo: “Does anybody still use Second Life? [A very quiet room] One person?”

Beth Goza: “You’ll see there’s a felt Sarlacc pit. Who doesn’t want one of those?”

4 Comments »

The Travel Industry is Hurting

June 11th, 2009, 7 Comments »

I flew to Toronto this week. One flight out, two flights (hello, bizarre sculpture in Calgary airport!) on the way back. While checking in at a terminal, uh, in the terminal, I glanced at the seat selection screen. There were plenty of other seats from which to choose. The seat next to me was empty on all three flights.

Julie was down at Granville Island today. It was a gorgeous day, and that place is usually teaming with tourists in the summer months. She was surprised how uncrowded the island was. She easily found parking.

We recently used Hotwire to book a four-star hotel in downtown Seattle for Gnomedex. The conference occurs over a weekend in August, surely a popular time of year for tourists visiting the city. We’re paying US $99 a night.

I know these are all isolated anecdotes, but they confirm what I’ve been reading over the past few months: fewer people are traveling shorter distances. Here’s some empirical evidence. Between March, 2008 and March, 2009, the Canadian Tourism Council reports an 11.5% reduction in the number of trips to and within Canada. That probably represents the entire profit margin for a lot of hotels, travel agencies and related services.

As a matter of curiosity, I checked which countries were showing the greatest decline in trips to Canada. The percentages reflect how many fewer visitors came in March, 2009 compared to March, 2008:

  1. United Kingdom – 24%
  2. Japan – 24%
  3. South Korea – 23%
  4. Mexico – 21%

Of course, most foreign visitors to Canada are from the US, where travel is only off 5.9% between March, 2008 and 2009.

In any case, I guess it’s all good news for the consumer, and pretty bad news for anybody in the travel industry.

7 Comments »

Everything I Know About Presentations, I Learned in Theatre School

September 3rd, 2007, 91 Comments »

An Unlikely Education

30A#_Q28I’ve been meaning to write this post for a while, and was inspired to get it done by Merlin Mann’s recent piece about improving his use of PowerPoint.

I do a lot of presentations. Each time I give a talk, I try to improve on something. I have a good base on which to build thanks to an unlikely education. Despite my career in technology, I have a Bachelor of Fine Arts in Creative Writing and Theatre.

I learned a lot of good public speaking practices from theatre school. They come in two flavours–content and technique:

Content – What You Say

  1. Respect the Narrative Arc. Every good story has a beginning, middle and end. The beginning promises the audience something, the middle threatens to take that promise away, and the end pays off on the promise (or, in the so-called ‘third act twist’, it doesn’t).
  2. Tell Stories. If you take one piece of advice from this article, it’s this. We make meaning by telling stories–to ourselves and each other. If you can construct your entire talk by embedding your points in a series of anecdotes and tall tales, do it. You’ll entertain your audience a lot more, and your message will be much stickier in your audience’s heads. Watch Seth Godin speak–he’s all about the clever anecdotes.
  3. Embrace Metaphors. Metaphors are another important means of how we make sense of the world. Use similes (“this site is eBay for seniors”).
  4. Dialogue Starts on the Page. I find my talks are much more cogent and compelling when I’ve written them as informal essays first. Then I try to commit as much of it as I can to memory, and write out the key points on index cards. Too many speakers seem to think they’ve prepared a talk by creating some slides. The slides should come last.
  5. Slides are Your Costumes, Lighting and Set, Not Your Speech. Your slides exist to reinforce the things you’re saying, not the other way around. Like your clothes, they provide context and framing for your message. As such, I almost always eschew bullet points for a single word or phrase per slide, accompanied by lots of photos. An overly complicated set will distract an audience, and so will overly busy slides.
  6. Your Set Design Needs Soul. Use lots of photos in your slides, but pick photos with soul. You’ll know them when you see them. Here’s a tip–there’s more soul on Flickr than iStockPhoto. And avoid obvious illustrations. You don’t need to show two generic hands shaking to imply a relationship. I recently gave a talk that included a brief summary of the history of communications–from few-to-few to few-to-many to many-to-many. These are the three photos I used:

    Outside the CBC 2
  7. The Play’s As Long As It Needs To Be (or Not To Be). People like to say “you shouldn’t have more than five (or 15 or 23) slides”. This implies that there’s a standard duration for each slide, and that you’re a simpleton. When you don’t use bullet points, this rule no longer applies. In one of my talks I run 60 slides–all photos–in about 3 minutes, and other slides sit up on screen for five minutes while I’m making a point.
  8. Surprise Your Audience. We’re delighted when the unexpected happens. Change gears midstream, take your theme in a new direction, or show a little video in the middle of your talk. It piques the interest of the audience and refreshes their attention. Everybody perks up when the ghost of Hamlet’s dad returns in Act 3.
  9. Begin In Media Res. It’s Latin for ‘in the middle of things’, and a lesson from Playwriting 101. Start in the middle of the action. Start with an anecdote out of left field, and let the audience catch up later. Don’t be afraid to use a flashback to fill in the background in the middle of your talk.
  10. Find the Funny. This is dangerous, because there’s nothing worse than a joke (or a joker) that bombs on-stage. If you’re not a naturally-gifted comic, find other ways. Embed humour in your slides, bring a prop or gently abuse the audience. I recently used a volunteer and a prop in a talk:


    It’s hardly a stroke of comic genius, but it can change the tone for a few minutes, which never hurts.

Technique – How You Say It

  1. Go to a speech coach. Why do British actors always sound smart? Because, usually, they’ve got superb vocal training and are exceptionally articulate. Discover all the muscles in your mouth, throat and chest dedicated to speaking, and learn how to exercise them.
  2. Warm up your voice. You stretch before playing pickup hockey–why don’t you warm up your voice before putting it through the paces? Your speech coach can help with this. As part of my pre-speaking ritual, I spend about ten minutes conducting an embarrassing vocal warm-up before speaking. I try to do it backstage, in an empty bathroom or in some other out of the way corner.
  3. Quit moving around. It’s a common bad habit of the young (and, in my case, really awful) actor. When you’re not rooted firmly in one place, you water down your message and distract the audience. Stand in one spot, and move only to emphasize a point.
  4. Talk slower. You’re almost certainly talking too fast. Even if you have a complete handle on your nerves, there’s a lot going on during a talk–slides, distracting audience members, and so forth–and people take longer to absorb information. Practice slowing down until people tell you that you’re talking too slowly.
  5. Consider Your Pacing. That said, you don’t always have to talk slowly. The speed at which you speak is just another tool–be sure to use it. Speak quickly for comic effect, or to emphasize the complexity of a process.
  6. Wield the Pause. Playwrights often write (Pause). I’ve used it as a lazy transition, and a way to notify the actor that a speech’s tone or subtext changes. You can use a pause in the same way–implying a shift from one section to the next. More importantly, the skillfully-wielded pause sharpens the audience’s attention, and builds anticipation of your next point.
  7. Costumes Matter. I keep saying this, but here it is again: clothes are costumes, and costumes are powerful symbols. Whether you’re speaking to six of your colleagues or 600 strangers, your clothes matter. They offer both context and subtext for what you’re speaking about. People are looking at you for a while–even if they don’t process your clothes consciously, they’ll do so in the background cycles of their brain. Guy Kawasaki spoke after me at Gnomedex, and he wore this cool, casual shirt and jeans. Maybe that’s a carefully crafted image, or maybe it’s just what he threw on that morning, but it says a lot about who he is as a speaker.

In short, make your presentations a little more like a play or a film. A little creativity and humour goes a long way, so don’t overdo it. I think it was George Bernard Shaw who described entertainment as “the jam that coats the pill of morality”. Your pill is probably more education or marketing than morality, but the lesson applies. Entertain your audience, and they’ll buy more of whatever it is you’re selling.

91 Comments »

Thoughts on Gnomedex and Video of My Talk

August 12th, 2007, 11 Comments »

I know my site gets a little Gnomedex-centric for a few days around the conference every year, so thanks for your patience. I’ll be done with this stuff soon.

Each year at Gnomedex, I spend less time in the auditorium listening to talks, and more time in the hallways chatting with other attendees. That’s always been the real value for me, and I was pleased to see a bunch of familiar faces and meet some new ones. I just wrote a big list of and linked to all those people, but have since deleted it, as it just felt like useless name-dropping.

Brace for the Gonzo

I always describe Gnomedex as a ‘conference of ideas’, and this year was no exception. However, this year’s program was more questionable than previous conferences, and was book-ended by a couple of highly-suspect talks. I missed most of Robert Steele’s talk, but if I distill the on- and offline reaction, it can be charitably summarized as “gonzo”.

Sterling Allen’s closing talk on ‘open source energy’ featured, among other things, a gratuitous misuse of the term of ‘open source’. He spent plenty of time discussing dubious energy sources that he aptly put in a big bucket labeled ‘crackpot’. If they’re so nutty, why did he spend much of his talk covering them (without, in my view, sufficient skepticism). I was shocked that nobody from the audience called him on it.

Open Money, Open Lives

My favourite talks were Vanessa Fox’s discussion of a life lived online–she skillfully facilitated a lot of conversation with the audience–and Michael Linton’s talk on open money. Michael has some powerful ideas, but I think he needs clearer, simpler metaphors to explain them. The talk unnecessarily went over the heads of a lot of smart people in the audience. I probably only understood about 20% of it, but that was enough to be intrigued. My appreciation of Vanessa’s talk only grew once she revealed herself to be a Joss Whedon evangelist.

Far too much has already been said about a battle of wills between two of our industry’s biggest egos. As one friend put it, “it wouldn’t be Gnomedex until a couple of old white guys started yelling at each other”. I don’t really mind the actual exchange inside the auditorium–I’ve been one of those guys in the past. I do resent that it spills over into the blogosphere and occupies everybody’s attention for the following 48 hours.

It was a nerd fight, folks, and nerd fights ought to be like removing Band aids or the invasion of Poland–swift, painful and over with quickly.

Speaking of egos, I wanted to link to a few comments on my talk for posterity:

Here’s some video of my talk:

I don’t much enjoy watching those, but it’s useful if one wants to improve. I was clearly a little too jittery to start with, but think I eventually settle into things. It’s a tough room, frankly, so I’m reasonably happy with the result.

Chris had some folks doing cartoons of conference stuff. I quite like this little piece they did of my talk:

Thanks to the folks at MyFridj for the cool drawing.

And last but certainly not least, it was a joy to see Derek’s smiling, thirty-foot tall head during his video chat session. It must take great courage blog about his illness, but I suspect it takes even more to talk about it in real time with his friends and colleagues.

UPDATE: Joseph Thornley kindly did a little interview with me after my Gnomedex talk, and has posted it.

11 Comments »

Dolph Lundgren and Killer CDs

August 12th, 2007, 4 Comments »

On Saturday night, I dropped by a little Gnomedex after-party at a local pub. For reasons I can’t recall, I talked about a movie that involved a broad-shouldered alien antagonist who killed people with flying CDs.

I pretty much asked everybody that I talked to at the event, but nobody could place it. Lee, to his credit, introduced the idea that it might have starred C-grade action hero Dolph Lundgren. Even some iPhone-powered web searches proved fruitless.

It took me a few minutes, but I eventually found the film on the Web when I got home: I Come in Peace. A plot summary:

An intergalactic alien drug dealer (Hues) comes to earth with a peculiar MO on the fritz. The duder causes human beings to overdose on smack and then sucks the endorphins out of their heads with the intention of selling the fix on his home planet. Yup, you heard me…that’s the plot and I’m sober as I write this. With Dolph Lundgren (playing Jack), spastic Brian Benben (playing Laurence) and a space cop with bad hair on his intergalactic tail, our “peaceful” alien friend has his hands full.

If I recall correctly, when Dolph slays the alien at the film’s climax, he says something really clever like “you go in pieces”. That’s right up there with “we’ll always have Paris”, isn’t it?

4 Comments »

1100 Stacies

August 11th, 2007, 27 Comments »

This is the source text of a speech I gave at Gnomedex in 2007. Here’s a video of me giving this talk.

One

A few years ago my grandmother passed away, and I found this telegram among her possessions. It’s from her uncle to her father. If you can’t read it, it says “Dad died yesterday. Burial Tuesday, two o’clock, Aurora.” How about that economy of language? You paid by the word, so condolences could wait until next Tuesday.

This was sent in 1954, and at the time it cost about $2.50 Canadian. That’s about $2.57 in US dollars. Yes, our currency was stronger until about 1960. I don’t know if the Americans in the audience have looked at exchange rates lately, but we’re coming for you.

In 2007 dollars, $2.50 is worth $19.84 Canadian. Imagine if you had to pay nearly two dollars for every word you wrote in an email. What would spam look like?

Send $ to Nigeria. Thx.

If we think of it in some different ways, $19.84 in Canadian dollars is also:

  • $18.64 US dollars
  • Â¥2,214 Japanese Yen
  • £5.84 in Maltese Lira (I’m living in Malta right now, so I like to convert to the local currency)

Do you hear that sound? That’s half the room hitting up Google Maps to find out where Malta is. It’s here, incidentally:

It also works out to:

  • L$4,986.62 Linden dollars
  • 249 World of Warcraft Gold

The second number is the black market conversion, so rates may not be very stable.

My great-great grandfather dies. My great-grandfather sends a telegram to my great-great uncle. My grandmother keeps the telegram. She dies, and the telegram comes into my possession. It’s enough to make you think about your own mortality.

Two

So that’s what I’ve been doing lately. Thinking about life and death and how I want to be remembered. Here’s one way I might be remembered if I keeled over right now on this stage:

My day job, you see, is doing marketing for high-tech companies. That’s not really a satisfactory legacy, is it? I’ve been thinking about ways to improve on that. Ways to revise what gets written on my gravestone.

Ways to do good.

Or more good, at least, because I have done projects here and there to raise money for good causes. And my wife and I do occasionally make donations to non-profits and charities. I just haven’t been very systematic about it.

Three

When I lived in Vancouver, I’d visit this hot dog stand at the corner of Granville and Georgia. If you find yourself in Vancouver, I highly recommend it. The turkey smokie is out of this world. Be sure to get the fried onions.

When I frequented this stand, there was often a young woman who sat beside it, leaning against a lamp post. She was homeless. If she wanted one, I’d buy a hot dog for her. I could afford the extra $2.50. The first time I did this, I learned that her name was Stacy.

That little gesture, buying somebody lunch, that seemed like a minimum amount of charity you could do. One act, one meal, a few bucks.

Four

So if I want to do good, and I want to be systematic about it, I need to measure some good deeds. This will help me figure out how to spend my time.

By the way, if you’re an economist or sociologist, you should just leave the room right now. Pretty much everything I have to say from this point is totally half-assed, and if you keep listening, you’ll just end up looking like this:

We need a basic currency for measuring good deeds, so I’m going to go with the aforementioned lunch. One meal for one person. And, in honor of that woman by the hot dog stand, I’m calling it the Stacy. Buy one lunch for one person, and that’s a Stacy. Keep somebody alive for a year, and you’ve earned about 1100 Stacies. The actual dollar amount would vary depending where that person is in the world, but one lunch for one person equals one Stacy.

Five

There are at least six billion ways to do good. But since my work and passion is technology, I’ll focus on some interesting tech and web projects. These are things that, if I were smarter and luckier and started earlier, I might’ve been able to do in a year. With a lot of help.

There is, of course, the question of inventing big things–the infrastructure of the Web. If I built the next Flickr or Linux or Google or whatever, that’d be great. That technology is used to do immeasurable good. And bad. But I’m sure the good outweighs the bad (with the exception, perhaps, of MySpace). But I’m not that smart or lucky.

And besides, there’s a kind of reductio ad nauseum there. After all, if I got in the game early enough, I could have built the wheel.

And just so you know, I’m not some kind of hippie. I’ve never been to Burning Man. I’ve never touched a bongo drum. I do have one pair of sandals, but they’re very sporty.

In thinking about these, hopefully they’ll give me a better sense of where I should spend some time. And maybe they’ll inspire somebody in this room to build something just as cool.

Six

Nabuur

What if I want to volunteer my time to help a developing nation, but I’m too lazy or scared or busy to leave my living room? This is Nabuur. It enables you to offer your volunteer expertise from your own home. Nabuur provides a platform for connecting with over 200 projects and over 8000 volunteers around the world, who contribute a little time and expertise to a project. It’s crowd-sourcing for the developing world.

You could help coordinate the shipping of computers to a school in Honduras, or edit the marketing plan of a village beekeeping project in Sierra Leone.

So what if I contributed a business plan to this project , a program to launch a Masaai ecotourism business in Kenya? They hope to make a sustainable business for 30 families, or about 130 Kenyans. There are currently 22 other volunteers on the project. Obviously the Kenyas are doing the majority of the work–let’s say the volunteers contributed 20% of the effort for the business’s first year.

Once you do the math, my business plan would work out to about 1250 Stacies for the year, or a little more than what it might cost to feed one person for a year.

Let’s put that on a chart.

If you wanted to start closer to home, another project is ICouldBe.org, where professionals mentor teenagers and help them transition to college and the working world.


Geekcorps

This is Geekcorps. Founded in 2000 by Ethan Zuckerman, they’re an organization that sends people with IT skills to the developing world, to help build computer infrastructure, both in terms of hardware and education. They send so-called ‘high capacity volunteers’–these people are professionals, not envelope stuffers–to help set up networks and enable entrepeneurism through technology.

One of their most admirable projects is Moulin Wiki, an effort to deliver an offline version of Wikipedia on CDs to parts of the world who don’t have Internet access. Thus far they’ve launched the French version, and distributed more than 600 CDs across Mali and western African.

So what if I joined Geekcorps and went to Africa for a year? Well, first I’d have to acquire some l33t IT skills, but let’s assume I did that. This one’s hard to measure, because the work I’d do is of the ‘teach a man to fish’ variety. And what if I just helped to build a Wikipedia in one of the local languages–another Geekcorps project? How much is that worth?

Say I was able to set up some infrastructure that enabled five people to get jobs. They’re doing the work, they’re able to feed their families, so I could take only a fraction of the responsibility for that success. I’m going with 9,500 Stacies.

Just Earn More Money

Before we move past simple volunteering into projects I wish I’d invented, I wanted to consider one alternative that many economists advocate. They say that if you’re employed, you’re much better off working more and donating the extra earnings to charity.

It’s simple math. If I work in a soup kitchen for two hours, I might make enough soup to feed 50 people. Imagine if I just worked an extra two hours, and earned, say, $200, and donated that money to the same soup kitchen. They could hire 5 skilled cooks, and feed hundreds of people and make better soup than I could.

Of course, people are chintzy, and they like the good feelings they get from volunteering. In one study I saw evaluating volunteerism and giving, most countries had a much higher percentage of volunteers than donors. The US and Canada are exceptions to this rule. We’re great givers, but lousy volunteers.

So let’s imagine that I work an extra four hours a week. That’s 16 hours a month. Say I earn $1600 for that time. The average cost of a meal in a soup kitchen in the US seems to be about $1.20. So that works out to 1300 Stacies a month, or about 16,000 Stacies for the year.

Of course, if I went over to Uganda or Sierra Leone, I could buy four meals for the price of one meal in a North American soup kitchen, so that would earn me more than 66,000 Stacies.

Build Something in a Virtual World

It’s hard to make stuff. Particularly when we’re talking about buildings and machines. It’s far easier to make virtual versions of stuff. Can you do good in virtual worlds?

Second Chance Trees is a project in partnership with Plant It 2020, a non-profit founded by John Denver in 1992. Their passion is the planting, maintaining and protecting of indigenous species around the world.  They set up an island in Second Life where players could buy and subsequently plant virtual versions of endangered rain forest trees.

Each tree cost 300 Linden dollars, which is currently about $1.12 US. When users bought a virtual tree, a real-world tree was planted. Thus far, they’ve sold 500 trees in Second Life, which gets them 500 real-life trees.

We obviously have a problem here, because my Stacy currency is a measure of helping people, not the environment. But, because it’s my currency, I’m going to say that one tree planted or saved equals one Stacy. Thus, Second Chance Trees is currently worth 500 Stacies.

This is a yak.

This is a virtual yak.

Save the Children is a British charity which focuses on providing health care, food, education and safety to the world’s poorest children. They devised a clever idea along similar, virtual lines. They launched a yak ranch in Second Life, and invited players to buy a virtual yak. The virtual yaks produced virtual milk, and you could ride the virtual yak with your virtual self. I saw a demo of the yak in action, and the animation on the walking must have been tricky, because it’s actually more of a hover yak.

The money they paid, 1000 Linden dollars or about US $3.75, goes to buy actual yaks for actual families who need them. For an impoverished family in Nepal or Mongolia, a yak can make the difference between abject poverty and a sustainable existence.

They sold over 200 yaks, raising 225,000 Linden dollars. That works out to about $800 in US dollars. I wasn’t able to figure out how many actual yaks that would buy, but let’s assume the money goes to food aid in the developing world. That would earn about 2700 Stacies.

They didn’t raise much money, but they did get a lot of real world press. That works because they’re early adopters–it’s not every future virtual fundraising campaign that will generate that kind of media attention.


Happiness

Let’s change gears for a minute. What about happiness?

As you may know, the king of Bhutan coined the term Gross National Happiness in 1972, and made it a priority for his tiny Buddhist nation.

This is him right here, with his son, the current king:

People take this idea very seriously, as it turns out. There’s a body of economic theory dedicated to studying GNH as a new paradigm and a viable alternative to Gross Domestic Product. There was a conference two years ago in scenic Antigonish in Nova Scotia, and this year there’s one in Bangkok.

There’s no question that being happy feels good, but how much good are we doing by making people happy? And how do we quantify happiness?

Well, we’re not sure yet, but people are working on it.

Adrian White, a psychologist at the University of Leicester, created something called The Satisfaction with Life index. It’s based on a bunch of sources, but essentially associates happiness with health, wealth and access to basic education, in that order. In her world, Denmark is the happiest country, and Burundi is the least happy. Green and then blue are most happy, orange and then red are least happy:

We also know that happiness has an impact on health. Research has demonstrated that laughter increase blood flow, strengthens the heart, decreases stress, bolsters the immune system and so forth. A good sense of humour helps you live longer. There was a study of 54,000 Norwegians over seven years which categorized participants according to their humor appreciation. If you ranked in the top quarter, you were 35% likelier to be alive at the end of the seven years than if you were a Debbie Downer in the bottom quarter.

Could I help people simply by amusing them? Here’s where I’ve got some data.

I made this goofy little satire site called GetAFirstLife.com. About 600,000 people have visited the site, and they seemed to like it. How much did they like it? I asked around, and it seemed like the site was worth about 15 seconds of laughter, on average, per person. That works out to 2500 hours of laughter.

As a second data point, I wrote this play, called Bolloxed. It played at some Fringe Festivals, and 600 people saw it. It was a comedy, and, again, people seemed to like it. It got good reviews, and people laughed a lot. Why not? It featured a pair of talking testicles:

I’d say people laughed for 15 minutes. That’s only 90 hours of laughter. To match my satirical website, I’d have to either be much funnier, or get another 10,000 people to my plays.

But what does the laughter generated by GetaFirstLife.com do to our chart? It’s impossible to know. I’m going to go out on a limb, and give myself 500 Stacies:

Nothing But Nets

This is a mosquito net. In sub-Saharan Africa, malaria is a top-five cause of death. It kills one child under five every thirty seconds.

In 2006, Rick Reilly, an award-winning writer for Sports Illustrated, wrote a column called “Nothing But Nets”. He’d recently learned about the way malaria ravages Africa, and for the first time in 21 years, asked his readers to do something. He implored them send 10 bucks to the UN Foundation, so that they could buy a net like this for an African family.

He launched a meme. That initial column raised $1.4 million. As soon as they could, the UN Foundation launched NothingButNets.net, partnering with folks like Sports Illustrated and the NBA. The real partners, though, were the thousands and thousands of people who used the site to launch their micro-campaigns among their friends and family.

This site is typical of the sort of big charity run and walk sites–it’s kind of a Pyramid Scheme of Good. The site is a tool that enables others to do good.

Thus far, they’ve raised over $8 million from donors, enough to buy over 825,000 nets. Each net protects a family for four years, reducing transmission of malaria by up to 90%. By my estimate, those nets have easily saved 50,000 lives, and probably more. How many Stacies for a human life? I’m going with 50,000 each, so that works out to 2.5 billion Stacies:

GiveMeaning

This is Tom Williams, in front of our nation’s seat of government:

Tom started his career in technology rather auspiciously. At 15, he was Apple’s youngest employee. He went on to be a VC fund manager. That life motivated him to change gears and start GiveMeaning.

Launched in December, 2004, GiveMeaning is another of these Pyramid Schemes of Good. It’s a project-based fundraising site with lots of Web 2.0 bells and whistles. The projects can be about anything, though most of them are concerned with international development and ‘thons’–walkathons, marathons, bike-athons. My friend Michelle used the site to raise a thousand dollars to dig a well for a village in Liberia.

One interesting social aspect of the site is that before you can get your project approved for fundraising, you need to get a hundred ‘votes’ for the project. It’s like trying to get your project Dugg. That consensus of approval is a filter mechanism, and makes it much easier for project leaders to raise money.

So what if I built GiveMeaning? Again, it’s off the charts. They have 1200 active projects, and hundreds completed. A typical project’s goal is to raise about $5000, usually from 20 to 40 donors.

The charts kind of broken by now, but you get the idea.

Conclusion

So what have we learned? The best way to help people is to build an infrastructure that enables a kind of Pyramid Scheme of Good. If, like me, you’re not smart or lucky enough to be able to do that, then all things considered, just earn more money, or spend less, and donate the difference.

Now’s the time when I unveil my project. My kick-ass killer app. The awesome user-generated content, ad-supported, Facebook-enabled, mobile-aware, Ajax-powered thingy. The thing that’ll cure AIDS or give sight back to the blind or whatever, all stored remotely on Amazon S3.

And here it is!

Blank screen.

I’ve got nothing. All I have is this thought experiment and your attention.

When Chris invited me to speak, I asked him what he wanted me to talk about. He asked, “what have you always wanted to bring to Gnomedex?”

I thought about it, and, you know, I could have done a talk about marketing or social media or whatever. But then I thought about these other things, about the telegram and the tombstone and about Stacy.

And I thought that the people in this room are influential and smart and powerful. While I know a bunch of people in the room have done and keep doing amazing things that help millions of people. And trees. and rocks, whatever. But they need to keep doing them.

And those who aren’t, like me, we maybe need to think about starting to do them. I’d like to invent Nabuur or GiveMeaning or this or this or this, but I probably won’t. One of you might, though.

Because if you go invent something brilliant, that helps millions of people. Or you. Or you. Well, not you. Sorry.

If you do that, and I pushed you 1% toward that tipping point, where you invented that thing. Well, 1% of millions of people is a lot of Stacies.

In the meantime, I’m going to try to volunteer more. Give more money to charities I believe in. Maybe give this talk to some other smart people if they’ll let me.

Remember the gravestone? Well, when I finally shuffle off this mortal coil at the age of 96, I hope that future generations will echo some advice that I heard from a Canadian philanthropist named Joel Soloman. He said “Be the best ancestor you can be.”

So, if I work at it, maybe this will become my epitaph:

Thanks for listening.

Photo credits:

Andrew Ferguson from GoldenGod.net, Carina C. Zona, Hughes Leglise-Bataille, Fungus Guy, Kris Krug, Steve Bridger, Nancy Scola, Virtual Bailey, allison,  Werner Jankowsky, The Center for International Education at WIS, cie-wis.org, François Proulx, Tomas Krag, Robin Taylor, Tom Williams, Ryan Jesena, Keith, Michael Lehet, Scott Foy, Gregor, Wikipedia, Q-Drum

UPDATE: I talked to a couple of people about fundraising in Second Life, including John Anthony Hartman and Beth Goza. They both explained that the poster child for non-profits in Second Life is the Relay for Life, which raised $41,000! That’s obviously orders of magnitude greater than the projects I profiled, and I should have mentioned it. I admittedly didn’t do much research on Second Life projects, as I already knew about these two interesting ones.

I asked why this project had been so remarkably successful. I guess it’s been running for three years, and has extremely high visibility. Beth also postulated that the cause really resonates with Second Life users (educated, in their twenties and thirties, reasonably even gender split, and so forth).

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