Baroque Rules for Maltese Cinemas

September 19th, 2007, 2 Comments »

I’ve been meaning to reference this editorial written about the baroque and hilariously dated regulations (PDF) for Maltese movie theatres. Some laws that are still on the books:

  • “A trained fireman licensed by the Commissioner of Police, or in his absence a member of the Police Force detailed to act as such by the Commissioner of Police, shall be in attendance at all the performances.” Man, that’s a lot of free movies for firemen and police officers.
  • “The exit and emergency exit lanterns shall be illuminated by means of candles or paraffin lamps, the lanterns to be made entirely of non-combustible material.”
  • “Cinematographs shall close not later than twelve midnight.” That’s impractical timing, but I mostly include it for the awesome term ‘cinematographs’.
  • “It is prohibited to introduce dogs into the auditorium or to keep or allow to be kept any dog therein.” That one’s still applicable, but I gather parrots, hamsters and ocelots are okay?

Here’s the most important one: “an interval shall in no case be held during the showing of the main feature film without the written permission of the Commissioner of Police.” This implies that intervals ought to be the exception, not the rule. And I doubt that theatres really have written permission for intervals in every movie. I’ve complained about the absurd intermissions in Maltese cinemas before. As it turns out, the law’s on my side.

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Luke, I Am Your…Intermission

June 4th, 2007, 11 Comments »

While en route from Gozo to Budapest, we stayed overnight in Malta’s capital city of Valetta. We also took the opportunity to watch Pirates of the Caribbean in the local very modern and pleasant multiplex.

It’s modern in all respects but one–there’s an intermission in the film. I’d read this online a few months ago, and didn’t really believe that it was true.

And yet, during a tense scene between Kiera Knightley and Chow Yun Fat (that’s not a spoiler as far as I’m concerned), while Kiera (who’s beautiful, but always looks like she has too many teeth for her mouth) was in mid-line, the film stopped. The screen displayed one groovy graphic that read “Intermission”, and most of the audience wandered outside for…what…cigarettes, refreshments and the toilets.

In the middle of a scene. The intermission seemed more or less randomly selected. Or, maybe it’s stipulated that it’s exactly two-thirds of the way through the film. In any case, it struck me as utterly ridiculous.

There are plenty of times when you shouldn’t judge another culture’s practices, but this ain’t one of them. Nearly all films are created to be viewed in one sitting, uninterrupted (the only exception I can think of is Kenneth Brannagh’s four-hour Hamlet). I’d have no complaints if filmmakers planned on intermissions the way playwrights do, but they don’t.

I must ask some of my Maltese colleagues what the deal is with this practice, and whether they prefer it.

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