Humour is the Only Response to Bureaucracy

November 7th, 2010, 7 Comments »

I’ve been doing a lot of on-site work with a particular client this year. They have those super-powered hand dryers in all of the bathrooms. Above each hand dryer, there’s this little laminated sign:

Absurdly bureaucratic, no? Humour is the only response to this kind of punctiliousness, isn’t it? So, I quietly produced and laminated a replacement sign:

That satisfied me for a few months, but I was concerned that it was overly subtle. Someone might assume that a new edict had been rolled out by senior management, nullifying the original instruction. So I tried a slightly more obvious angle:

In retrospect, I really should have put the line break between “air” and “like”.

There’s still gold in this vein. I plan to make one more sign before the year is out. I was thinking of going with something more nonsensical:

Hände hoch, baby, Hände hoch mir dein Herz, gib mir, gib mir dein Herz

Which, roughly translated, is “hands up, baby, hands up, give me your heart, give me give me your heart” in German.

But I’m sure you could do better. Any suggestions?

7 Comments »

A Sign For Zero Percent of Its Users

March 22nd, 2010, 6 Comments »

I was in the Dallas-Fort Worth airport, on our way to Mexico, when I spotted this sign. It was on the inside of the door to the men’s bathroom in an airport lounge.

From the Men's Bathroom

How odd that it’s in the men’s bathroom and phrased in the first second person like that?

6 Comments »

Lots of Booby Traps, Pain and Misery

December 8th, 2009, 2 Comments »

I saw this sign on a beat-up white van parked near Home Depot. I often wonder if these signs actually work. The next time I’m interviewing some car thieves, I’ll ask. Click for le grandeness:

Lots of Booby Traps

2 Comments »

Hey Pooches, Ease Off

September 22nd, 2009, 2 Comments »

I spotted this sign–on the ground, nowhere near a tree–yesterday:

Your Pee is Killing Me

The bigger story here, obviously, is this: where did that tree find a Sharpie?

2 Comments »

No Thorobaaads or Dumpies

May 25th, 2009, 2 Comments »

There were several of these handmade signs posted on telephone poles down the street from our house:

No Thorobaaads or Dumpies

I assume it’s either some inside joke, or somebody’s a little off their rocker. In case you’re wondering, ‘thorobaaads’ is a Google whack.

2 Comments »

An Inspirational Church Pun for Monday

May 11th, 2009, Comments Off

I’ve seen worse:

Church Sign

Surely there’s a book of these for non-punny pastors? Yep, this looks like a winner.

Comments Off

He’s Heavier Set

April 3rd, 2009, 5 Comments »

It’s never fun when somebody loses their pet, but I was struck by the careful wording on this sign that I spotted in Victoria. He’s not big or fat, he’s heavier set:

Mr. Softie is Heavier Set

5 Comments »

An Overly Precise Sign

March 2nd, 2009, 3 Comments »

Warm Soda

It’s accurate, sure, but is it appetizing?

In truth, it could be more accurate, or at least more localized. “Pop” is a much more popular term for “soft drink” in Canada than “soda”. That fact comes courtesy of the very useful website Pop vs. Soda.

3 Comments »

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