Correct the Motions
I just liked the old-school language of this medication for teething. "Check stomach disorders; order the motions; relieve restlessness, fretfulness, and similar troubles...Mothers may enjoy ease of mind in the knowledge that these powders contain no
Date: 06/24/2007
I just liked the old-school language of this medication for teething. "Check stomach disorders; order the motions; relieve restlessness, fretfulness, and similar troubles...Mothers may enjoy ease of mind in the knowledge that these powders contain nothing harmful."
Air Gun Fun
Not intrinsically funny. In fact, there's a lot to like about this one. I especially like the way, in panel six, that guy's enjoying a magazine while randomly blazing away with his air gun.
Date: 06/23/2007
Not intrinsically funny. In fact, there's a lot to like about this one. I especially like the way, in panel six, that guy's enjoying a magazine while randomly blazing away with his air gun. Thanks to Kristi.
Bathroom Advice
"No leaves in the toilet, no swan dives off of it." (Thanks, Anne)
Date: 06/23/2007
"No leaves in the toilet, no swan dives off of it." (Thanks, Anne)
In Case of Wet Floor
In case of wet floor, recline luxuriously.
Date: 06/23/2007
In case of wet floor, recline luxuriously.
50mA and Above
An evocative illustration of electricity at work. Thanks to Stu.
Date: 01/15/2007
An evocative illustration of electricity at work. Thanks to Stu.
80's Band Present
"Warning: Devo is in the house." (Thanks, Daniel)
Date: 01/15/2007
"Warning: Devo is in the house." (Thanks, Daniel)
AT&T Outhouse
Blueprints for an AT&T outhouse. It gets mighty cold and lonely out there on the telegraph lines.
Date: 01/15/2007
Blueprints for an AT&T outhouse. It gets mighty cold and lonely out there on the telegraph lines.
Aerial Smackage
Caution, this toy will enrage your child. (Thanks, Graham)
Date: 01/15/2007
Caution, this toy will enrage your child. (Thanks, Graham)
Alarmed Reader
"Whatever you do, don't teach your babies to read." (Thanks, Sue)
Date: 01/15/2007
"Whatever you do, don't teach your babies to read." (Thanks, Sue)
Ambidextrous Knife
Apparently from instructions for a left-handed kitchen knife. It's odd, then, that it's a right hand in the picture. (From--also ironically--Dirk)
Date: 01/15/2007
Apparently from instructions for a left-handed kitchen knife. It's odd, then, that it's a right hand in the picture. (From--also ironically--Dirk)
Angry Amoeba
Keep out, or this angry amoeba will force you to breakdance.
Date: 01/15/2007
Keep out, or this angry amoeba will force you to breakdance.
Angry at Your Bowels
The proper technique for kidney punching yourself. From "Sexual Reflexology - Activiting the Taoist Points of Love". Thanks to Luke.
Date: 01/15/2007
The proper technique for kidney punching yourself. From "Sexual Reflexology - Activiting the Taoist Points of Love". Thanks to Luke.
Apple Laptop
From instructions for replacing the battery on an Apple G4 Powerbook. I just included it because I thought it was kind of dirty. Isn't having the top of display in your lap illegal in 48 states and 6 provinces?
Date: 01/15/2007
From instructions for replacing the battery on an Apple G4 Powerbook. I just included it because I thought it was kind of dirty. Isn't having the top of display in your lap illegal in 48 states and 6 provinces?
Audible Penis
"Caution: Sitting down may cause your erection to announce its presence." (Thanks, Rafael)
Date: 01/15/2007
"Caution: Sitting down may cause your erection to announce its presence." (Thanks, Rafael)
Bad Dress
"Wear a bad sweater dress, suffer the consequences." (Thanks, Niklas)
Date: 01/15/2007
"Wear a bad sweater dress, suffer the consequences." (Thanks, Niklas)
Binoculars Warning
"If your binoculars make a snowman, do not feed them tea when they come in to warm up." (From Scott)
Date: 01/15/2007
"If your binoculars make a snowman, do not feed them tea when they come in to warm up." (From Scott)
Boy in Box
When boxing up your baby, ensure the lid securely fastened. (From Bob)
Date: 01/15/2007
When boxing up your baby, ensure the lid securely fastened. (From Bob)
Canon Camera
While technically speaking, there's nothing too weird with this one, I must applaud its enthusiasm. Look at all those arrows. There's also some very lax use of clipart in the bottom right corner. The 'IBM PC/AT' and the 'Macintosh' are strikingly similar.
Date: 01/15/2007
While technically speaking, there's nothing too weird with this one, I must applaud its enthusiasm. Look at all those arrows. There's also some very lax use of clipart in the bottom right corner. The 'IBM PC/AT' and the 'Macintosh' are strikingly similar.
Captain Samsung
Top-hat-wearing superheroes have no place in technical documentation. (Thanks, Ferrie)
Date: 01/15/2007
Top-hat-wearing superheroes have no place in technical documentation. (Thanks, Ferrie)
Chipper
Seems like obvious advice, particularly when found on an industrial chipper/shredder. (Thanks, Brian)
Date: 01/15/2007
Seems like obvious advice, particularly when found on an industrial chipper/shredder. (Thanks, Brian)
Clever Housewife
Reportedly, "it can penetrate into all kinds of vegetable, and its razors are so strong that if you wish your daughter to screw with it, she can do that to help you." If I hadn't seen the actual packaging myself, I'd have thought this one was a
Date: 01/15/2007
Reportedly, "it can penetrate into all kinds of vegetable, and its razors are so strong that if you wish your daughter to screw with it, she can do that to help you." If I hadn't seen the actual packaging myself, I'd have thought this one was a hoax. (Thanks, John)
Count the Fingers
"Count Rugen and other six-fingered passengers must leave by the rear of the plane." (Thanks, Adam)
Date: 01/15/2007
"Count Rugen and other six-fingered passengers must leave by the rear of the plane." (Thanks, Adam)
Crankcase Collar
From the shop manual for a Honda CBR600F2 motorcycle. You can just hear the illustrator cackling to themself.
Date: 01/15/2007
From the shop manual for a Honda CBR600F2 motorcycle. You can just hear the illustrator cackling to themself.
Creepy Engrish
A freakin' terrifying sign from a former prison in Phnom Penh. Thanks to Johnathan.
Date: 01/15/2007
A freakin' terrifying sign from a former prison in Phnom Penh. Thanks to Johnathan.
Czech Sign
"Children who kick severed heads may not be run down by giants, cars or skiing houses. Anything else is fair game." (Thanks, Chris)
Date: 01/15/2007
"Children who kick severed heads may not be run down by giants, cars or skiing houses. Anything else is fair game." (Thanks, Chris)
Deformed Hand
"Warning: Readers will be smacked with a novelty hand."
Date: 02/07/2007
"Warning: Readers will be smacked with a novelty hand."
Dell Computer Box
From a Dell computer box. I believe the caption should read 'If you drop this box on a dog, don't trip over its tail'.
Date: 02/07/2007
From a Dell computer box. I believe the caption should read 'If you drop this box on a dog, don't trip over its tail'.
Dirty Skilift
Ana sends along this sign from a rather x-rated ski lift.
Date: 02/07/2007
Ana sends along this sign from a rather x-rated ski lift.
Dogs Not Allowed
This Gaudelope sign says that dogs aren't permitted--there's no mention of lions. Maybe the sign painter didn't speak French? (Thanks, Yarimar)
Date: 02/07/2007
This Gaudelope sign says that dogs aren't permitted--there's no mention of lions. Maybe the sign painter didn't speak French? (Thanks, Yarimar)
Door Stop
"NB: Device should be inserted under door, not beside or above." (Thanks, Eric)
Date: 02/07/2007
"NB: Device should be inserted under door, not beside or above." (Thanks, Eric)
East Facing
All over the world, monitors are facing the wrong direction.
Date: 02/07/2007
All over the world, monitors are facing the wrong direction.
Eating in the Army
From heating instructions for a ready-made army meal. Included for the ambiguity of 'rock or something'. Can I use a mine? How about some jackboots? (From Kinton)
Date: 02/07/2007
From heating instructions for a ready-made army meal. Included for the ambiguity of 'rock or something'. Can I use a mine? How about some jackboots? (From Kinton)
Elevator Sign
What do you suppose these buttons do? Are they options? From Rick.
Date: 02/07/2007
What do you suppose these buttons do? Are they options? From Rick.
Emotive Lamps
From Japanese instructions for a lamp. I believe the instructions read 'Tools make lamp weep' and 'Use small, happy lamp, not large, grumpy lamp'. UPDATE: A reader writes to translate the text: "Absolutely no modification or addition of parts to the
Date: 02/07/2007
From Japanese instructions for a lamp. I believe the instructions read 'Tools make lamp weep' and 'Use small, happy lamp, not large, grumpy lamp'. UPDATE: A reader writes to translate the text: "Absolutely no modification or addition of parts to the equipiment." "Please use [light bulb] with wattage below the specification." So apparently the droplets in the first image are beads of sweat, not tears.
Erection Drawing
My erection doesn't look anything like this. Should I be worried?
Date: 02/07/2007
My erection doesn't look anything like this. Should I be worried?
Even Women and Children
Darned feminism. (Thanks, Ulrich)
Date: 02/07/2007
Darned feminism. (Thanks, Ulrich)
Exploding Horse
Vaguely gross instructions for blowing up a large animal corpse. (Thanks, Jeff)
Date: 02/07/2007
Vaguely gross instructions for blowing up a large animal corpse. (Thanks, Jeff)
Explosive Rat
From World War II, these are British Secret Service instructions on how to conceal explosives in the body of a rat. Saboteurs were to leave the dead rat in boiler rooms in German installations. Someone would discover the rat and chuck it into the boiler.
Date: 02/07/2007
From World War II, these are British Secret Service instructions on how to conceal explosives in the body of a rat. Saboteurs were to leave the dead rat in boiler rooms in German installations. Someone would discover the rat and chuck it into the boiler. Hilarity then ensues.
Extra Safe Plug
Classic lawsuit-begets-warning icon. See also those warnings on disposable coffee cups about the contents being hot. (Thanks, Carl)
Date: 02/07/2007
Classic lawsuit-begets-warning icon. See also those warnings on disposable coffee cups about the contents being hot. (Thanks, Carl)
Feline Abuse
I can't tell if they're serious or not here. Do they really want me to vacuum my cat? (Thanks, Al)
Date: 02/07/2007
I can't tell if they're serious or not here. Do they really want me to vacuum my cat? (Thanks, Al)
Fingerless
"Danger: Fingers may fall off if unmonitored."
Date: 02/07/2007
"Danger: Fingers may fall off if unmonitored."
For All Your Paper Jogging Needs
In twenty years, there will be a Lectrojob Paper Jogger in every home. Thanks to Jeremy.
Date: 02/07/2007
In twenty years, there will be a Lectrojob Paper Jogger in every home. Thanks to Jeremy.
French Puritans
My first instinct was "no man-boy love", but I doubt they'd bother with that street sign. Apparently there's no holding hands in Paris. And I thought the French were liberated (no pun intended). (Thanks, Chris)
Date: 02/07/2007
My first instinct was "no man-boy love", but I doubt they'd bother with that street sign. Apparently there's no holding hands in Paris. And I thought the French were liberated (no pun intended). (Thanks, Chris)
Front Toward Enemy
A Claymore mine with its simple but crucially-important instructions in all-caps sans-serif.
Date: 02/07/2007
A Claymore mine with its simple but crucially-important instructions in all-caps sans-serif.
Frottage
"Faceless schoolgirls don't dig the frottage." From a very subtle Japanse subway sign. (Thanks, Craig)
Date: 02/07/2007
"Faceless schoolgirls don't dig the frottage." From a very subtle Japanse subway sign. (Thanks, Craig)
Fun Free Zone
Ironically, this sign is from Amsterdam. Thanks to Jon.
Date: 02/07/2007
Ironically, this sign is from Amsterdam. Thanks to Jon.
Furbies are Verboten
No cell phones, pagers or Furbies on flights to Australia. They're very worried about invasive species down there. Thanks to Kirstin.
Date: 02/07/2007
No cell phones, pagers or Furbies on flights to Australia. They're very worried about invasive species down there. Thanks to Kirstin.
Futon Transmission
Simple futon assembly instructions. (Thanks, Cyber Chaos)
Date: 02/07/2007
Simple futon assembly instructions. (Thanks, Cyber Chaos)
German Dog Leash
An admirably terse diagram. Though, the "OK" symbol is incomplete--where's the dog? Jim, who sent this in, explains that the French version offers a textual variation--it reads "BON" (good) and "MAUVAIS" (bad). From a German-
Date: 06/23/2007
An admirably terse diagram. Though, the "OK" symbol is incomplete--where's the dog? Jim, who sent this in, explains that the French version offers a textual variation--it reads "BON" (good) and "MAUVAIS" (bad). From a German-made dog leash.
Grandma and Baby
"When hurling your child indoors, use both hands." (Thanks, Ben)
Date: 06/23/2007
"When hurling your child indoors, use both hands." (Thanks, Ben)
Hamburger Users Guide
This is the cover of a manual for a computer motherboard. Why does it feature a hamburger and fries? (Thanks, Jeffrey)
Date: 06/23/2007
This is the cover of a manual for a computer motherboard. Why does it feature a hamburger and fries? (Thanks, Jeffrey)
Helicopter Box
"This box does not contain a helicopter." From the deck of the HMCS Whitehorse. Canadians may wonder if this means "Don't fly in our Sea King choppers--they're older than your parents." (Thanks, Jen)
Date: 06/23/2007
"This box does not contain a helicopter." From the deck of the HMCS Whitehorse. Canadians may wonder if this means "Don't fly in our Sea King choppers--they're older than your parents." (Thanks, Jen)
Helicopter
Some kind of flying bed? I got nothing.
Date: 06/23/2007
Some kind of flying bed? I got nothing.
Ikea Support
No tech docs hall would be complete without a reference to Ikea, kings of the wordless illustration. This one is remarkable for conveying a complex concept in two pictograms. Mind you, they might have done better if they'd rendered a poorly-assembled tabl
Date: 06/23/2007
No tech docs hall would be complete without a reference to Ikea, kings of the wordless illustration. This one is remarkable for conveying a complex concept in two pictograms. Mind you, they might have done better if they'd rendered a poorly-assembled table or something.
Inconvenience
Apparently masturbating workers can be a real distraction on the streets of Taipei. Men at work, indeed. The Chinese appears to say a lot more than just "Pardon for Inconvenience". (Thanks, Dennis)
Date: 06/23/2007
Apparently masturbating workers can be a real distraction on the streets of Taipei. Men at work, indeed. The Chinese appears to say a lot more than just "Pardon for Inconvenience". (Thanks, Dennis)
Iraq Chart
A chart used to obtain intelligence from Iraqi prisoners. Oddly, I don't see a graphic for 'strip naked, put on this hood and make a human pyramid'.
Date: 06/23/2007
A chart used to obtain intelligence from Iraqi prisoners. Oddly, I don't see a graphic for 'strip naked, put on this hood and make a human pyramid'.
Japanese Subway
"Priority sheeting should be given to John Holmes, midget lovers, medicine ball users and women giving birth to noisy children." Fakir, who sent the photo, explains that they actually indicate (from left to right): person with injured arm, perso
Date: 06/23/2007
"Priority sheeting should be given to John Holmes, midget lovers, medicine ball users and women giving birth to noisy children." Fakir, who sent the photo, explains that they actually indicate (from left to right): person with injured arm, person holding a child, pregnant woman, person with injured leg. C'mon...how is that last one an injured leg? Disappointingly, James "Kibo" Parry writes to point out that this image is indeed a hoax.
John Deer
"Lighsabers should only be operated by registered Jedis or paduans in the presence of their masters."
Date: 06/23/2007
"Lighsabers should only be operated by registered Jedis or paduans in the presence of their masters."
KeepYourRubbish
I think they mean "Please don't litter", but I'm not sure.
Date: 06/23/2007
I think they mean "Please don't litter", but I'm not sure.
Last Tango in Paris, Anyone?
From a remote control, some cautionary advice on avoiding a 'buttery end'. (Thanks, Sarah)
Date: 06/23/2007
From a remote control, some cautionary advice on avoiding a 'buttery end'. (Thanks, Sarah)
Lost Remote
Other possible reasons: "Your wife has left you, and taken the TV", "In your senility, you put it in the dishwasher" and "It's in your dog".
Date: 06/23/2007
Other possible reasons: "Your wife has left you, and taken the TV", "In your senility, you put it in the dishwasher" and "It's in your dog".
Man and Wall
"Relax and place your forehead against a wall. If you are Elvis, stand further back from the wall to accomodate your additional girth." From a Dutch book on breathing lessons for professional singers. (Thanks, Eike)
Date: 06/23/2007
"Relax and place your forehead against a wall. If you are Elvis, stand further back from the wall to accomodate your additional girth." From a Dutch book on breathing lessons for professional singers. (Thanks, Eike)
Man Down
"For God's sake, watch out for attack boxes" (Thanks, Divide)
Date: 06/23/2007
"For God's sake, watch out for attack boxes" (Thanks, Divide)
Marvelous Cookware
Another remarkable example of 'engrish', from a Korean stone cooking pot. (Thanks, Marlene)
Date: 06/23/2007
Another remarkable example of 'engrish', from a Korean stone cooking pot. (Thanks, Marlene)
Menual
Who's up for some menual labour? (Thanks, Marc)
Date: 06/23/2007
Who's up for some menual labour? (Thanks, Marc)
MERB
"Beware of over-sized books, bubble tea and tampons." Not exactly technical documentation, but apparently the logo of the EPA's Microbial Exposure Research Branch and too bizarre not to include. (Thanks, Anne)
Date: 06/23/2007
"Beware of over-sized books, bubble tea and tampons." Not exactly technical documentation, but apparently the logo of the EPA's Microbial Exposure Research Branch and too bizarre not to include. (Thanks, Anne)
Mouse Hanger
From a mouse pad with a plastic frame. I couldn't decide why this one was peculiar. Maybe because it's so obvious, but utterly useless.
Date: 06/23/2007
From a mouse pad with a plastic frame. I couldn't decide why this one was peculiar. Maybe because it's so obvious, but utterly useless.
Movers, Printer
If you engage in a threesome with this HP LaserJet 4200N printer, one partner must wear coulottes at all times.
Date: 06/23/2007
If you engage in a threesome with this HP LaserJet 4200N printer, one partner must wear coulottes at all times.
Movers
"WARNING: Threesomes can also result in hurt feelings, broken friendships and dismemberment." (Thanks, John)
Date: 06/23/2007
"WARNING: Threesomes can also result in hurt feelings, broken friendships and dismemberment." (Thanks, John)
Nail Gun
I'd have thought this was obvious, but what do I know?
Date: 06/23/2007
I'd have thought this was obvious, but what do I know?
Nauseous Nuns
This disturbing image comes from the plastic bag wrapped around Dell monitors. Maybe 'Nauseous Nuns Not Permitted'?
Date: 06/23/2007
This disturbing image comes from the plastic bag wrapped around Dell monitors. Maybe 'Nauseous Nuns Not Permitted'?
No Horseplay, Either
Defecating in the usual way is a-ok, though. From a park in Hanoi. (Thanks, James)
Date: 06/23/2007
Defecating in the usual way is a-ok, though. From a park in Hanoi. (Thanks, James)
No-Gangsters-Allowed
"If you've got a cheap suit, a pistol or are a member of the mafia, you're not permitted."
Date: 06/23/2007
"If you've got a cheap suit, a pistol or are a member of the mafia, you're not permitted."
Nuts
Not so much technical documentation, as words to live by. From the assembly instructions for a toy skateboard. (Thanks, Ryan)
Date: 06/23/2007
Not so much technical documentation, as words to live by. From the assembly instructions for a toy skateboard. (Thanks, Ryan)
Parachute
"Parachute may occasionally transform into a giant cobra. If this occurs, leap into a small fire." That disclaimer is pretty daunting as well. (Thanks, Bill)
Date: 06/23/2007
"Parachute may occasionally transform into a giant cobra. If this occurs, leap into a small fire." That disclaimer is pretty daunting as well. (Thanks, Bill)
People in Water
"I told you we shouldn't wear the red bracelets!"
Date: 06/23/2007
"I told you we shouldn't wear the red bracelets!"
Political Labels
A classic label that made big news in 2004. (Thanks, Bruce)
Date: 06/23/2007
A classic label that made big news in 2004. (Thanks, Bruce)
Poor Toilet
CAUTION: Do not permit pixies to clean your toilet--it will only become surly. From a hotel in Seoul. (Thanks, Nick)
Date: 06/23/2007
CAUTION: Do not permit pixies to clean your toilet--it will only become surly. From a hotel in Seoul. (Thanks, Nick)
PS2 Packaging
This entry is downright poetic--"hot, dank or under straight of the sunshine."
Date: 08/27/2003
This entry is downright poetic--"hot, dank or under straight of the sunshine."
Puzzle Ball
"Let's decompose and enjoy assembling!" (Thanks, Kyle)
Date: 06/23/2007
"Let's decompose and enjoy assembling!" (Thanks, Kyle)
RAID Striping
From the instructions for a FastTrak Raid Card. (Thanks, Josh)
Date: 06/23/2007
From the instructions for a FastTrak Raid Card. (Thanks, Josh)
Rectal Use
It's all about the tiny arrow. (Thanks, Jay)
Date: 06/23/2007
It's all about the tiny arrow. (Thanks, Jay)
Rowing Machine
If I bought a rowing machine and was faced with this diagram, I'd chuck it in a lake and just buy a freakin' boat. (From David)
Date: 09/21/2003
If I bought a rowing machine and was faced with this diagram, I'd chuck it in a lake and just buy a freakin' boat. (From David)
Sad Fridge
This fridge is apparently no fun at a party. From a Korean-made cube fridge. Apparently it means that if you unplug it, wait 5 minutes before plugging it back in. (Thanks, Peter)
Date: 06/23/2007
This fridge is apparently no fun at a party. From a Korean-made cube fridge. Apparently it means that if you unplug it, wait 5 minutes before plugging it back in. (Thanks, Peter)
Screwed Up
An all-to-familiar instruction for most handymen. From a box of Indiglow gauges for a '97 Ford Taurus.
Date: 06/23/2007
An all-to-familiar instruction for most handymen. From a box of Indiglow gauges for a '97 Ford Taurus.
Shoe Instructions
From a pair of shoes. The symbols apparently mean leather uppers, cloth interior and diamonds on the soles.
Date: 06/23/2007
From a pair of shoes. The symbols apparently mean leather uppers, cloth interior and diamonds on the soles.
Speaking USB
From a manual for an MP3 Player - 'Ensure that your computer speaks USB!' Bonus points for determining where the USB port is on your computer or monitor.
Date: 06/23/2007
From a manual for an MP3 Player - 'Ensure that your computer speaks USB!' Bonus points for determining where the USB port is on your computer or monitor.
Standard Pilot
From a 1915 drawing of a pilot for British Aerospace. Nice shoes.
Date: 06/23/2007
From a 1915 drawing of a pilot for British Aerospace. Nice shoes.
Strange Tea
"Our tea makes you want to smell other people's bums!" From an illustration on a box of Yogi Tea?s Ginger Tea. It?s even funnier if you note that the text immediately under the drawing reads ?inhale deeply through the nose?. (Thanks, Robin)
Date: 06/23/2007
"Our tea makes you want to smell other people's bums!" From an illustration on a box of Yogi Tea?s Ginger Tea. It?s even funnier if you note that the text immediately under the drawing reads ?inhale deeply through the nose?. (Thanks, Robin)
Strong Bright
More bizarre translation. Step 6 sounds a bit like a haiku. For more of this, visit www.engrish.com. (Thanks, Andre)
Date: 06/23/2007
More bizarre translation. Step 6 sounds a bit like a haiku. For more of this, visit www.engrish.com. (Thanks, Andre)
Stun Gun
I've written a number of technical documents where I wished I could be this frank. From instructions for a stun gun. Note the target zones diagram in the bottom corner--apparently this stun gun only works on men in public washrooms.
Date: 06/23/2007
I've written a number of technical documents where I wished I could be this frank. From instructions for a stun gun. Note the target zones diagram in the bottom corner--apparently this stun gun only works on men in public washrooms.
Table
It's rare that instructions take time to explain basic engineering principles. From Andy, who explains that it's a Compaq Proliant server.
Date: 06/23/2007
It's rare that instructions take time to explain basic engineering principles. From Andy, who explains that it's a Compaq Proliant server.
Tear Gas Canister
A fantastic example of help-on-demand. The instructions on this tear gas canister include 'Treatment for Tear Gas'. Apparently tear gas containers are also very hot to the touch, so handling them during the riot is ill-advised.
Date: 06/23/2007
A fantastic example of help-on-demand. The instructions on this tear gas canister include 'Treatment for Tear Gas'. Apparently tear gas containers are also very hot to the touch, so handling them during the riot is ill-advised.
Television
"CAUTION: This TV has swallowed Mickey Mouse, and as such has a very poor sense of balance." From the manual for a Samsung TV. (Thanks, Ferrie)
Date: 06/23/2007
"CAUTION: This TV has swallowed Mickey Mouse, and as such has a very poor sense of balance." From the manual for a Samsung TV. (Thanks, Ferrie)
The Future is Now
Finally, all my favourite gadgets in one box. (Thanks, Jeff)
Date: 06/23/2007
Finally, all my favourite gadgets in one box. (Thanks, Jeff)
Tipsy
Oddly, from a DVD manual. I think it means 'Do not pull fridge over speed bumps, particularly when wearing an ill-fitting belt.'
Date: 06/23/2007
Oddly, from a DVD manual. I think it means 'Do not pull fridge over speed bumps, particularly when wearing an ill-fitting belt.'
Tree-Humping
"When humping our trees, make sure to use plenty of hip action."
Date: 06/23/2007
"When humping our trees, make sure to use plenty of hip action."
Trouser Press
Instructions for a trousers press, a particularly British device. I like any documentation that includes the phrase 'Insert trousers'.
Date: 06/23/2007
Instructions for a trousers press, a particularly British device. I like any documentation that includes the phrase 'Insert trousers'.
Trunk Cleaner
"To empty trunk of corpses, pull lever." (Thanks, David)
Date: 06/23/2007
"To empty trunk of corpses, pull lever." (Thanks, David)
Useful Advice from Marks and Sparks
Those people at Marks and Spencers know a thing or two about child-rearing. (Thanks, Jeremy)
Date: 06/23/2007
Those people at Marks and Spencers know a thing or two about child-rearing. (Thanks, Jeremy)
User Manual
Speaking as a former technical writer, there's often truth in advertising. (From David)
Date: 06/23/2007
Speaking as a former technical writer, there's often truth in advertising. (From David)
Water Heater
"Using this water heater will send you straight to hell. Possibly via your colon." (Thanks, Michael)
Date: 06/23/2007
"Using this water heater will send you straight to hell. Possibly via your colon." (Thanks, Michael)