Scantily-Cladness

Sometime later this week–once I’ve parsed the 80 entires–I’ll be announcing the winner of 10 dollar-units in my Oscar contest. May I humbly point out that I went 10/12 this year? If not for the Madonna-humping, over-acting, poncey-haired Sean Penn, I would’ve been nearly perfect. I really don’t care for his work.

In the meantime, I’ve had to endure the difficult task of judging who wore the least to the Oscars. Surprisingly, only seven of the ten candidates actually turned up–there was no sign of Jennifer Lopez, Halle Berry or Jennifer Connelly (you can usually rely upon the first two to wear almost nothing, can’t you?). I guess I haven’t watched the Oscars enough, because I kind of assumed that anybody-who-was-anybody showed up. When I think about it, though, there are a ton of A-list actors who didn’t show. Is this normal?

Regardless, here are my rankings of scantily-cladness, from least to most. All in all, it was a disappointing year on the frock front. Where are the bare midriffs, the high slits and the broad, plunging necklines of those days gone by? Ah well, fashion always follows politics. In times of war and conservative government, the womenfolk tend to cover up. Also, apparently white is the new black…who knew?

9 comments

  1. Attendence to the Oscars ceremony is now limited. Before when it was held at the Shriner Auditorium there was a lot more room. Now that the Academy has moved to their own Kodak Auditorium there are fewer seats and not everyone will get to attend because all the nominiees must be allowed to attend, and there are quite a few when you think about all the categories.

  2. I thought Sean Penn was blacklisted from the Academy, no? When he was nominated for I am Sam, I thought the critics were all saying he wouldn’t have a chance with the Academy. If I had known he was in the good books, I would have changed my Best Actor vote. Oh well.

  3. I think the problem with this year’s female stars is that they were afraid of falling out of their gowns and so they dressed slightly more conservatively than in past years. I think your rankings are good. I think it’s normal that stars don’t show up if they don’t have to present or don’t have a film in the running. A lot of the LOTR cast didn’t show up. I find it interesting that for such a long time Sean Penn absolutely disdained the Hollywood scene, living in France and refusing to do any American movies. Then over the past few years he’s been doing more and more.

  4. Check out Angelina Jolie’s left upper arm. That’s positively freaky! What’s up with that? Bionic implants?

  5. I was quite impressed with the fashion taste this year among the younger set. It was Jamie Lee Curtis and Susan Sarandon that turned up in the dangerously cut dresses, and I wouldn’t say that either of them made good choices.

  6. Yeah, Jamie Lee Curtis’s dress was the ugliest thing of the night, exposing far too much.

    Didn’t Hally Berry win her Oscar last year? I thought they always had the previous year’s Best Actress present the current year’s Best Actor Oscar, and vice versa. It is strange there was no sighting of her. Who gave away the Best Actor award? Was that Nicole Kidman? Was it two years ago that Berry won, already? Time flies.

    The thing I learned from the clips of the Best Actor and Best Actress nominees is that if you wanted a nomination this year, you better learn how to scream and cry at the same time, for extended periods of time. The entire clip of Sean Penn was of him screaming while being held back by police. Hmmm, maybe it was just his home security cameras, and not the movie? 😉

  7. Wait, I’m stupid. Of course Berry’s award was two years ago. Last year, she had The Kiss. How quickly they forget…

    It is odd that she wasn’t there. Perhaps filming of the godawful-looking CATWOMAN got in the way?

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